Why Awareness Makes You Happier & Less Depressed | Dain Heer | Better Man Podcast Ep. 095

Dean Pohlman: Hey guys, it’s Dean. Welcome to the Better Man podcast. Today I am interviewing doctor Dain. Dain? Dain, I am dying.

Dain Heer: Unless you’re in Australia it’s Dain.

Dean Pohlman: Yes, Dain. I’m interviewing, the southern version of myself. Dain. Dain, is that you? Dain. Here. from the access Consciousness movement. And, I’m excited to have you here, so thank you. Dean.

Dain Heer: Hey. Thank you for having me. And I just want to apologize for the background noise. It is pissing down rain out here, but it’s so beautiful. Figured I would do it from outside.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. If you’re not watching the video version, you can do that on the on the YouTube channel, on the Betterment podcast YouTube channel, or in the member’s area slash app for Man Yoga. But yeah, he’s got a really, really cool background. It’s way better than mine. And I’m I’m kind of jealous. So, yeah, enjoy the, the soft rain in the background as we do this interview.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. So I usually like to start these talking about how I know the guest. so this is actually the first time that Dana, I, Dana, and I have had a conversation. I get a lot of solicitations for the podcast in my inbox, probably anywhere from 3 to 4, sometimes even five a day. And I usually just delete them all.

Dean Pohlman: And I got one from Dane, and I looked at his website and I was like, oh, wow, this guy’s legit. And if you look at the content, if you look at the title access Consciousness, and if you look at some of what Dane does and you haven’t ever been in that world, if you haven’t been to expose these ideas yet, it’s sometimes hard to conceptualize how this is relevant to you.

Dean Pohlman: And if that’s you right now, then maybe it might help to think about it in the following terms. These are things that I’ve seen from Dana’s website that really help, that have been helped significantly through this process. Things like overcoming negative self-talk, being less judgmental of yourself. opening up possibilities. So, Dana, I’d love it if you could just speak a little bit more to that.

Dean Pohlman: And yeah, let’s let’s just start there.

Dain Heer: Well, that’s an interesting thing because, you know, if we boil it all down, it’s like, wouldn’t we all like to be more happy? And what does that take? Well, it starts with a lot less judgment of us in the world around us, but then also the sense that we have the tools and the ability to change what doesn’t work and create more of what does, and maybe even go in a totally different direction if that’s required or if that’ll be part of what will contribute to us.

Dain Heer: So, you know, we walk around this world and I ask people in my classes, I’m like, how many happy people do you know? And, you know, people are lucky if they know one person is truly happy. And and I’m not talking the, you know, the over the top. I laugh all the time or that sort of stuff. Usually those people are avoiding something, but I’m just talking about having a sense of peace, being you and liking who you are.

Dain Heer: And so we’re access consciousness comes in. Access consciousness is a set of tools, techniques and information that are about accessing the consciousness that’s already within you. So you can create the miraculous life that you know you’re capable of. And it’s interested because a huge amount of it is the tools that I can provide to people, tools that work in the trenches of life.

Dain Heer: You know, I woke up really unhappy today. What do I do? Or I’d like to create this, thing in my life or my business. What do I do? Or I want to kill my kids, and I know I’m not supposed to. What do I do? You know, it’s like. And and you start to realize that we all have things that we struggle with.

Dain Heer: And, until you have some tool or some awareness that it can change, but also hopefully a tool to change it, you’re often relegated to just trying to bury it, to try to survive. And what I’d like people to get out of is survival and into thrive on.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. That’s a, that’s a phrase that I’ve heard before. instead of surviving, thriving and yeah, I like that. And, I appreciate the, I know I’m not supposed to kill my kids.

Dain Heer: Reference.

Dean Pohlman: Do you have do you have kids?

Dain Heer: You know, sir. Okay.

Dean Pohlman: All right. So you haven’t had to refrain from doing that? Yeah. That’s good.

Dain Heer: No, I was lucky enough to basically have raised my little brother and little sister, and, so I’ve done my paternal thing. Plus, I have thousands of people around the world that are kind of like my kids, but I don’t have to do the stuff of, you know, the difficult job of trying to manage every moment of their lives.

Dain Heer: So that’s pretty cool.

Dean Pohlman: yeah. So and I understand that this is something that you kind of had to overcome yourself and I see in your story, I see a lot of myself, I see a lot of the people. I see a lot of similar stories within the mental yoga community, people who on paper, they’re doing all the right things. They should be happy, right?

Dean Pohlman: They’ve got the job, they’ve got the family. Maybe they’ve got the fitness. So why isn’t everything, you know, all sunshine and roses and, I’d love it if you could talk about your own experience with that, because you’re, you were a chiropractor before you started doing this.

Dain Heer: Yeah. And, you know, I, I can so relate to what you’re speaking about. And I remember 24 years ago, I’ve been doing this work for the last 24 years. And a little over 24 years ago, I was at a place where I was going to end my life. If things didn’t change, I’d literally set a date six months in the future.

Dain Heer: And I mean, can you imagine what it’s like? I became a chiropractor because I saw these amazing healers who were creating what I would call miracles in people’s lives, and that’s what I wanted to do. I’m like, if I need to be a chiropractor to do that, no problem, you know? But it’s also kind of like when I was a little kid, I literally my grandmother asked me, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Dain Heer: And I went happy. And she’s like, no, no, no, you don’t understand the question. She’s like, do you want to be a doctor? Do you want to be a garbage man? Do you want to be a lawyer? Do you want to be an actor? What do you want to be? And I went, yes, as long as I’m happy, you know.

Dain Heer: And she said again, you don’t understand the question. I and even as a little kid, I was like, I don’t think I’m the one who doesn’t understand the question here. You know, but I so I went to chiropractic school. I put in the work, I put in the effort, graduated with honors. And so I was like, cool. Now I get to go do this in the world and start my life.

Dain Heer: And yet every structure I was building my life on seemed like it was trapping me. So my practice and even the the rent and the building and leasing and and also my relationship at the time, it’s like I was with somebody that I thought was perfect for me. By the way, whenever you decide somebody is perfect, please undo that at your earliest opportunity.

Dain Heer: Because what happens is whenever you come up with a conclusion, a decision or a judgment about something good or bad, nothing that doesn’t match that can come into your awareness. So I decided this person was perfect, but there was a constant state of judgment of me going on that I wasn’t enough. And that was coming from my relationship.

Dain Heer: And I well, amongst other place, my relationship and myself. please know I’m not trying to place any blame. And so the result of that was I had woken up and been unhappy for the better part of three years. And here I was, you know, I had put in the work to do what I thought would accomplish my dream, and I felt like I was further away from it than ever, and money was stressing me out.

Dain Heer: My relationship was stressing me out, but what was stressing me out the most was this. This thing I was carrying around with me of this constant state of self-judgment. Well, I got to a point one day, and I’m somebody who’s a seeker, probably like a lot of people listening to this. And so what is the secret to, well, they know there’s something else possible.

Dain Heer: So they go seek it. And one of the things I was doing this weekend, workshops on personal development on, money and finances, on business, spirituality, I was doing everything I could find out. What would happen is I go to this weekend workshop, and if it was a good one, by sort of the second day of the workshop, I’d start feeling good, and by the end I’m like, yay!

Dain Heer: I finally found it! And what was I looking for? The same thing I was looking for as a little kid. I just wanted to be happy. And so I’m like, yay! I finally found it! And by Wednesday of the following week, it felt like it all went away. In the universe crashed in on my head again, and it was literally a Wednesday where.

Dain Heer: And this was Spiritual Dane who didn’t have any other tools because the workshops that we go to, the tools didn’t seem to work in the trenches of life. They were great while you were there. They were transformative while you were there. But then when you’re same thing comes up about stress, about money, your same thing comes up about the stress in your relationship where you feel like you’re not giving enough, you’re not being enough, you’re not doing enough.

Dain Heer: What do you do? Well, I didn’t have the tools. And so I it was literally a Wednesday a little over 24 years ago. Sorry. I keep hitting my table where my, I’m at a resort. I’m, half owner of here in Costa Rica. And, this is why my background, this is why I wanted to be outside.

Dain Heer: Because inside is not nearly as nice, but then I do things like move my table, so I apologize. and so it was a Wednesday, and I literally woke up and I was so depressed, I just wanted in my life and I said, universe, you have six months. Either I actually get to be happy or I am out of here.

Dain Heer: And there was a relief that came over my world. Now, I hope none of you listening are there. I just want you to know if you are number one. You’re not wrong. Number two, it’s not your fault. Number three, there is definitely a way to change it. And that sense of of thriving is actually possible. No matter what you think right now.

Dean Pohlman: So before you before you go on here, I’m curious because as someone who does a lot of self-development work, I, I don’t I’m curious, what do you think? You mentioned this, and you said that the tools didn’t seem to work in real life, but I’m wondering if you can go a little bit deeper into that and explain to me why you think that, you know, despite being exposed to all these ideas, these other tools, these strategies, these why wasn’t it clicking for you and maybe some other people can understand some of the warning signs of, if that’s not working for them too.

Dain Heer: Well, I think the warning signs, so let me go about it a slightly different way because the, well, okay, sorry, my ADHD is kicking in. So as it does. so, so first, what the, and by the way, I was also reading all kinds of books on personal development and that sort of thing too, simultaneously.

Dain Heer: And what all of this showed me is that happiness should be possible, lightness should be possible, and I would experience it for moments, sometimes hours, sometimes up to a day or maybe two. If I was having a really great run. And yet something would inevitably come up in my real life experience that would take me into take me from a sense of space into and the way it felt was like I would have a sense of space, and then one little pebble would come in, you know, one little tiny black hole would come in and it would sit there and be like, okay, cool.

Dain Heer: And then another one would come in and I’d start to notice my lightness wanting to sort of go away. And then by the time the third one came in, it was like all the lightness, all the sense of space, the happiness, the ease, the sense I could do, it was gone. And, you know, I can look at a lot of reasons for that, you know, childhood and etc., etc. but I and so in that moment where this thing came in and, you know, what’s the thing that comes in, well, you know, you wake up in your girlfriend’s having a bad day, so she’s, cranky with you as though it’s your fault.

Dain Heer: Okay. What do I do about that? You know, and I didn’t. I had a lot of spiritual glowing. I will be loved. Well, that’s a great idea if you’re feeling really loving. But if not, how do I go from I want to kill you to I. And I said, I want to kill you twice. I probably should make a caveat.

Dain Heer: I’ve never actually killed anyone, nor have I ever truly had the desire. I’m just sort of bringing it up because people don’t talk on that level. You know, people, especially if they’re, you know, trying to, well, let’s just say people don’t tend to talk on that vulnerable level of the intensity of what we experience. And so, so how do you go from this upset to a different sense of something being available?

Dain Heer: And I didn’t have the tools. The only tools I had were basically, I know it shouldn’t be this way, so it should be different. So let me just focus on the lightness. But that didn’t work because the lighter I got, the people that were in a heavy place got heavier. And so I didn’t know what to do. And so so you’re not really part.

Dean Pohlman: Of really easily affected by your surroundings. So you could you could practice the positivity on your own. But then when you got around other people and you had to experience their negativity, you couldn’t handle it yourself.

Dain Heer: Well, yes. And I want, absolutely. Yes. And even in my own head, many times there was so much self-judgment that.

Dean Pohlman: I.

Dain Heer: Didn’t look at what I was creating as a gift, and I didn’t look at myself as a gift. I always looked at, what am I doing wrong? I’m not doing enough. I’m not being enough. And so and, and what I’ve noticed is it’s the sensitive people in the world that seem to have this more than anything else, but also those are the ones that would tend to do some form of personal development.

Dain Heer: But also the sensitive people of the world have these amazing gifts. They’re often brilliant at business, brilliant law, brilliant at healing, brilliant and expanding possibilities for people and creation. And it goes along with this other element in which being around others, in dealing. And it’s not just being around others, it’s it’s a huge amount of self-talk also, but being around others activates it even more dynamically.

Dain Heer: And I actually see the thing is, I didn’t know what to do about it. And we have this tool and access consciousness. Well, let me sorry. Let me continue from a different realm. So so with that, I got to a place where I was like, I’m I’m out of here universe. You have six months. Either my life changes or I’m done.

Dain Heer: A week later, I came across an ad in the little paper in Santa Barbara where I was living at the time, the independent paper, and it said, access consciousness. All of life comes to me with ease and joy and glory, and I just wanted to kill whoever put that in the paper. And the funny part is, when you ask, the universe does its best to support us.

Dain Heer: Okay? And so this little classified ad was so tiny and it was very, you know, 90 pages into this 100 page flip open paper. And that was the only thing my eyes focused on. And I was only reading it to try to distract myself from my life because internet wasn’t available at the time. So, you know, I was I was doing, the OG version of Google.

Dain Heer: Okay. And, you know, how do I distract myself and so I threw the paper away. Well, comes out the following week. I’m leafing through it. And this I see again, all of life comes to me with ease, enjoying glory. And I was like, I hate you. My life has been suffering and gory. What do you what are you saying?

Dain Heer: And I learned long before that. So if there’s something, if you love something or hate something, there’s something in it for you. So I called and I. I ended up booking a session with this girl because she just seemed so nice and she didn’t care. She was like, yeah, we can do it or not. Your choice. And I went, okay, let’s try this.

Dain Heer: I had a session of Access Consciousness bars. I went into this session depressed, angry and suicidal with a plan to end my life. I came out of it an hour and 15 minutes later with a gratitude for being alive that I didn’t think I would ever have again, and a sense of space. A sense that everything was okay.

Dain Heer: Everything always had been, everything always would be. And I knew I was never going to that place where I wanted in my life again. And I was like, Holy crap, now. And I remember because it was she came to my chiropractic office to do the session, and I looked out of the windows of this office, and I saw the clouds in the sky, and I was like, oh my God, is it always been this beautiful here?

Dain Heer: I have obviously not been noticing and we would get together once a week. This was a thing called access Consciousness Bars and it’s a light touch technique. It’s done on the head and we’ve done studies and found that it decreases anxiety, stress and depression. An average of 87% with one friggin session. And that was the experience I had.

Dain Heer: Yeah, I mean, wow, I mean, just mind officially blown. And we would get together every week and we would do this and I traded her, I would work on her chiropractic, she would work on me with this. And what happened was the beginning. In the beginning, I was like, this black hole, you know, I was if somebody said, how much space do you have?

Dain Heer: I’m like, is there a negative number I can choose, you know, because and it just kept getting more and more and more. Well, with the session, it was like the black hole transformed and I started having a sense of space. And that’s what I was looking for, like this, this sense that I too could actually be happy. I too could actually have my life and create what I desired.

Dain Heer: And so this space increases and I was like, this is amazing. And what she did was she gave me one tool to use each week. We got together before I ended up taking the first class and getting a lot of other tools. So like here, just use this. Because what I said to her, I said, look, every time I’ve ever done one of these things where I think everything is going to finally work, the universe caves back in on my head and I feel even worse than I did before, because now I’m judging.

Dain Heer: I had it and now I lost it. And she said, I totally get it. I’ve experienced the same thing. She’s like, for this first week. She’s like, ask this, who does this belong to? And I was like, what? And she wrote it down, in her very peculiar handwriting on a little yellow sticky note, she said, look, one of the things that we found is that a lot of the stuff that’s going through your head is stuff you’re aware of from other people.

Dain Heer: In fact, we go so far to say is 98% of your thoughts, feelings and emotions are not even sourced from you. You’re just so aware. And that taps into that sensitivity that I was talking about. And I went, okay, so you’re saying when I’m afraid Oscar, does this belong to. Yep. When I’m angry, I go to just volunteer.

Dain Heer: Yep. When I feel like I can’t do it as good as this, belong to. Yep. She said, for every thought, feeling and emotion, every judgment or every stuck energy, if you will. She’s like, ask, who does this belong to? She said, and if you’ll do it for three days, what you’ll notice at the end of three days is you actually have space in your head.

Dain Heer: No. What? Wow, that sounds awesome. So the way it works is if you’re in the middle of fear and you go, who does this belong to? Or is this mine? If the fear lightens up or lessens at all, it’s not yours. You’re picking it up from somebody around you. And the thing is, we’re like big. All of us, whether you think you’re sensitive or not.

Dain Heer: And one of the things I found is the people that think they don’t get energy, quote unquote, or always feel like they’re the redheaded stepchild of any spiritual community or, or personal development thing that they do. Those people at some earlier point, are usually people who perceived so dynamically that it seemed painful, kind of like the place that I was in.

Dain Heer: And what do you what do you do with that? Once again, if you don’t have the tools, if you’re aware of mommy being angry, you know, daddy being abusing or you know you’re aware of, it’s not that level, but you’re aware of all their sadness and their financial troubles. Well, what do you do? One thing is to put up some walls around you to try to survive.

Dain Heer: Right. And so without just this one awareness, if, if, if everybody’s listening, if you get nothing else out of this, this awareness can, can start to be really helpful because what it also acknowledges is that our awareness is energetic. It’s like if you’ve ever been in a relationship and you know, oh my God, I need to call them, well, how do you know that?

Dain Heer: Because you’re aware of the energy they’re broadcasting. How have you ever been around happy people? You notice you get happier if you hang around sad people. You notice, you get sadder. Or if we look back to the glorious years of 2020, 2021, how much terror, how much separation, how much loneliness did we perceive? And and there’s a huge difference between perceiving and having.

Dain Heer: But how much of that did we feel inundated with, because you had 8 billion people who were aligning and agreeing that the world is going to hell in a handbasket and we can pick it up? So if you ask, who does this belong to? Or is it mine? What happens is it can actually lighten up. And if it lightens up, that’s your awareness.

Dain Heer: It’s not yours. What do you do then? Return it to sender. Because if it’s not yours, you’re not the source of it, so you can’t change it. So in a very real sense, we’re walking around with our with our worldview colored by this fear that, you know, that I, that I grew up with about this and, and dad’s anger and separation and mom’s wanting to heal it.

Dain Heer: And in a very real sense, we start duplicating that at a very young age. And then we just keep doing it because nobody’s ever given us the information. And that’s just one tool out of thousands that we have an access consciousness.

Dean Pohlman: Can I speak to that? My needs. So so what I’m hearing is, so I love that the site, this idea of this question of who does this belong to and what’s resonating with me or what I’m thinking of when I hear that is if you have self-judgment. if so, if you’re experiencing some sort of self-judgment, you listen to that voice and instead of saying, like, oh, this is my voice, you think, whose voice is this, really?

Dean Pohlman: And then you think, oh, this is like, this is my dad talking to me? Or like, oh, this is my mom talking to me? Or this is, you know, this is, this is what I think my wife is saying to me or something like that. So I like that. I like that, I just like that concept.

Dean Pohlman: And being able to, I don’t know. I don’t think you’re supposed to actually return it to sender. I don’t think you’re supposed to text text your dad, like, hey, like I you’re telling me right now that I’m not being responsible enough, and I just wanted to say I don’t appreciate that. because then he would probably just have to send it to his dad, so.

Dain Heer: Yeah. You’re sorry? Yes. And then I love it.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. The other, the other thing that I was, you know, you keep on saying sense of space. And I’m wondering if you can just elaborate on that a little bit more. I really want I want to be able to empathize and be able to understand that on a deeper level than because it’s not. It’s just not clicking for me.

Dain Heer: So, yeah, thank you for that. I, you know, when you’ve been doing something for over two decades, it’s like there’s certain things that you just, you know, let’s talk about, you know, and so thank you for asking that. And so have you ever just felt great about being you and didn’t have a problem, didn’t worry about the future, didn’t think about or worry about the past?

Dean Pohlman: No, not in ten years.

Dain Heer: That’s exactly I, my brother, I hear you. I like by the way, the Dean and Dane are having an interview. I think there’s just something poetic enough. okay, so that’s what I’m actually talking about, and I understand not having it. And my journey over the last 24 years is a journey of having more and more and more of that, more and more and more of my life.

Dain Heer: And also, I want to make a huge caveat here. Okay, I am not perfect. My life is not perfect. I am not happy all the time. But I am so much happier, so much more of the time, with so much more of a sense of being able to create than I was in the time that we’re talking about.

Dain Heer: So I want to make that real clear, because people will put themselves forward in an interview as though they have all the answers. I have no answers for you, okay? Because you know more about your life than I do. All I do have is a lot of questions to like, who does this belong to? Is it actually even yours to get you to the awareness of what’s true for you?

Dain Heer: So the sense of space I’m talking about, like, have you ever, you know, it’s like when you go do something and you use your body, especially out in nature and that, you know, they talk about flow state. Yeah. So that’s.

Dean Pohlman: That’s, that’s coming from me. Flow state.

Dain Heer: Yeah. That well.

Dean Pohlman: Being present.

Dain Heer: I don’t want to sound like a total dick here, but about 95% of my life is flow state at this point. And and I don’t say that by bragging because I’ve done a lot of work, but but once again, I’ve had the tools because I could just think about from the moment you woke up this morning until this interview, how many thoughts, feelings and emotions and how many judgments went through your head.

Dain Heer: And we wouldn’t even characterize them as judgments which sticks of even more because we don’t, because none of us wants to be judgmental, you know? So we don’t want to think, wow, I’m judging myself. I’m judging the situation. But any time you have a charge on it, that’s actually not when you have a charge or an avoidance or a contraction around something or, yuck.

Dain Heer: Stuck or what the f you? That’s us. That’s where we have a different choice. Let’s put it that way. That’s where we’re not being the space that we can be. Because I think a lot of us would agree if we’ve done any spiritual work. There’s this idea that you’re an infinite being. At least we talk about that in access, just as a way of giving you a perspective that is different.

Dain Heer: You know, in, in, in spiritual circles, they talk about your higher self. And when people ask me about that, I very politely, say, well, if that’s your higher self and you’re calling you the lower self, fuck that. No you’re not. It’s just that we haven’t been shown that it’s okay to walk around with the sense of no problem, no wrongness.

Dain Heer: And so it’s like, if you could get a sense of what it’s like when you go to nature after you decompress and let all the stuff that’s in your head, usually from other people, go, you have a sense of, wow, like, I’m looking out here and, you know, it’s like, wow, space. And so that’s what I’m getting this.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. Oh, I’m sorry, I was I was.

Dain Heer: No, no, go for it.

Dean Pohlman: And so I’m getting this sense of, I’m getting this sense of clarity of your own thoughts rather than external influence from other thoughts. I’m getting this sense of, not posit. Positivity is one word. It’s just it’s optimism. It’s overall optimism about the future. It’s in. It’s it’s the it’s the absence of worry. It’s the absence of anxieties or stress.

Dean Pohlman: That’s just, hey, like, I think things are going well. I’m not worried about one thing in particular right now. I’m I’m kind of excited about what’s happening, but I’m also not ruminating about the future too much. I’m just I feel I feel good.

Dain Heer: There you go. That okay? That cool? I, I realized with this one session that that was actually possible for me too. And that was what. And and to have it then later be sustainable was just I mean, and not only was it sustainable, that would be one thing, because that’s what I was looking for was and I think a lot of us do, if we get to a sense of what you’re exactly as you described so brilliantly, can I still that when people ask me from now on.

Dean Pohlman: Because feeling good. Yeah.

Dain Heer: Yeah, you look good. There you go. You know, that I, what I always try to do is get to that place and hold on to it, but you can’t. We’re. The whole universe is a movement. We just had a solar eclipse. Why? Because everything’s moving. It doesn’t happen every day. Why? Because everything’s moving. Okay, so you can’t do that.

Dain Heer: But what I realized you can do if you can keep creating and get a sense of not just everything being okay, and I’m not worried, but you start to have this sort of inner enthusiasm for just being alive and and from there, life takes on a different flavor. And that’s what is I want to say. That’s what’s possible for us all.

Dain Heer: That’s us as beings. And if you look at it, it’s like if you look at most kids, what’s their usual state? They tend to be pretty happy. Unless it’s time to move, take a poo or eat something at which or, if they’ve learned that they can manipulate their parents by being sad or cranky, that’s another thing. But most young kids are just happy.

Dain Heer: That’s actually our natural state. And I see I want to make another caveat here, because people think happy means you’re not going to get the work done. let’s see my business is currently in 176 countries around the world. I have about 300 employees, and most of them get happier and happier. And as they do, our business succeeds more and more so happiness we.

Dain Heer: So here again, we have we have a lot of points of view that happiness only occurs in the absence of, in the absence of, anything to do. So I can only be happy if I am on a vacation on a beach somewhere. It’s like, no, you want to be happy while you’re doing the work that you do want to be happy when you’re interacting with your friends and family.

Dain Heer: You want to be happy when you’re in your business. You want to be happy. When you’re doing your yoga, you want, you know, it’s like and and so it’s it’s actually functioning from that space that we’re talking about in a lot more areas of life.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. So I think there’s there’s an idea that or I think a lot of people who have gotten successful, let’s say it not not I’m not going to say you’re a level success, but I think people who have attained some modest level of success, I think a lot of people have gotten their through the, the mean coach.

Dean Pohlman: Right? Yeah. Like you’ve got like someone who’s like, you’re you’re shaming yourself into doing the things that you need to do, and that works to a certain point until it doesn’t. So I think for a lot of people, the only experience they have of being able to succeed is being hard on themselves, is using this, you know, this, this negative self-talk to shame themselves into doing things.

Dain Heer: So true.

Dean Pohlman: I think that’s, Yeah, that’s that’s what’s coming up for me. And then I want to just go back to one thing that you said before, that it’s it’s the overly sensitive people, the ones who say they aren’t emotional, who are probably the most emotional, but because something happened to them that was so painful that they had to put up walls in order to prevent themselves from experiencing that emotion.

Dean Pohlman: They’re just they’re just not aware of it at all. So they actually are really emotional, but they’ve decided subconsciously they they, they didn’t make the decision consciously. Something happened and they just they, you know, their brain said, okay, we’re not going to experience this. So they’re not open to being able to experience that. And, you know, I can think of lots of people who are like that in my own life.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. and I used to think I was like that. You know, I grew up in this family where I remember writing an email to my mom, saying, like, yeah, I know I need to work on, you know, being more emotional. She’s like, we don’t do that in this family.

Dain Heer: I’m like.

Dean Pohlman: Oh, okay. And, you know, so there’s a good example. and I used to think like, people who did things like affirmations and journaling and meditation, I’m like, why do you need all that? Just like, go be, you know, go, go, go, go get it done or like, go get the stuff done. And, and then I thought, well, how much easier would it be, though, if you used all these tools that make it easier instead of, yeah, not using them.

Dean Pohlman: That was that was a bit of a tangent, but, I just I just thought it prudent, to mention the overly sensitive people situation.

Dain Heer: When the I, what I’ve learned is nothing is actually a tangent. You know, there’s a, there’s a spark there that’s like, hey, this will contribute to somebody, you know, especially in this venue in this, you know, and so when you because when you talk about like, hey, we don’t do that in this family, that’s one of the other things that occurred for a lot of sensitive people as they came into families where it’s like, hey, we don’t do that.

Dain Heer: And what do you do? You learn to to follow the structure of family. And and so what’s interesting is, like you were saying, you know, the go getter done. Here’s the other here’s the other interesting part is when you said, you know, the mean coach. That is so what so many people have. But if they’re able to get her done and you know, I live in Texas now, so get her done.

Dain Heer: You know, get her done. Make sense to me? but so if you look at that and they’re able, let’s say from their point of view, you know, looking from the outside, whatever, they’re able to do it because of this self-talk of judgment. And, you know, they need to be perfect to perform whatever. Well, look at this. The bottom line is they’re capable of getting her done.

Dain Heer: Let’s just look at that. So now if we could combine it with a sense of joy along the way, dude, what else is possible? And I see people trying to cut off one element so they can have the other. But that’s that’s the antithesis of of how we can function. Oops. How we can’t function if we choose. And so the, if we can recognize because we’re so we’re so conditioned to put everything in a box so that we can reject it so that we don’t have to change.

Dain Heer: We’re so conditioned to do self-judgment and judgment of everything that we hear, especially in the world we live in right now. And if we didn’t have to put us in those boxes anymore, what capacities do we have to get her done? And then and then if we look at the Uber sensitive people, they tend to not want to do things like business or creation in a certain way, because they’re more interested in being touchy feely with the universe.

Dain Heer: And but even underneath that, if they can acknowledge it, there’s a capacity to do things in their way that are brilliant and creative. And so to the extent that we can take ourselves out of the box that we and others have put ourselves in, we start to explore that the fundamental quality of being alive can be so beautiful for us as we embrace more of what’s actually true for us.

Dain Heer: And that’s so in Access Consciousness, we have a definition of consciousness, which is where everything exists and nothing is judged. And if we could be that way with ourselves, not judge us when we’re having a bad day, not judge us because we can’t create this, not judge us because it seems like there’s so much stuff in my head.

Dain Heer: I don’t know what to do with it. By the way, I ask, who does this belong to and is it mine? We even have a free app for who does this belong to, by the way? Okay. Totally free.

Dean Pohlman: And but who does this belong to?

Dain Heer: Pretty clever marketing geniuses over here, brother. Yeah, yeah, it’s access consciousness. Who does this belong to? And but to the extent that we can embrace rather than reject, we start to see life through a different lens. A lens that actually creates a place where you’re, like, waking up in your life. You like the person looking back at you in the mirror.

Dain Heer:

Dean Pohlman: So tell me how someone goes from, you know, let’s assume that people don’t buy it. let’s assume that people are looking and I’m not saying they shouldn’t drop it. Probably should is look, this looks really cool. I’m I’m going to be looking into this myself, honestly, because self-talk, you know, I, I’d love to have, to experience a world where I don’t, judge myself.

Dean Pohlman: And, I think I’ve done a lot of stuff to do, a lot less self-judgment. And I think I’ve also, part of that is also just I’ve, I’ve achieved more of what I wanted, I wanted to achieve compared to, you know, when I first got out of college and didn’t really have much to show for. So there’s that to be considered.

Dean Pohlman: But what I’m wondering now is for somebody who is experiencing that kind of constant stream of negative self-talk, the just being judgmental of yourself, where do we, you know, aside from asking ourselves, does this who does this belong to?

Dain Heer: Me? Where do we.

Dean Pohlman: Go from here?

Dain Heer: Great question. And the thing is, we’re all individual. Reminds me of the Monty Python skit where they all in unison say we’re all individuals. we are all individual. So for each person it has a different flavor, but a couple of. So let’s look at a couple of things that tend to apply by way of awareness. Because the thing that gets us out of heaviness and into lightness is awareness, functioning from what’s true, not a light.

Dain Heer: Because what’s true for you always makes you lighter. A lie always makes you heavier. And so if you look at the world we live in, you realize there are a lot of things that are not true for us, that we’re trying to make true, that we’re trying to live from. And to that extent, it creates more and more and more contraction.

Dain Heer: It’s where I was 24 years ago. So one of the things that can be helpful, okay, am I ADHD is kicking in, I apologize, but the first thing that actually came up, I have done a series of audios that I call You Got This and there are many deep dives on different subjects, and one I did called Waking Up Miraculously, and that is a gift available to everybody.

Dain Heer: If you go to my website, that’s a gift that’s available to everybody, that would actually be one of the places I would start because this website, Doctor Dane here, dot com. Okay. And you go to the shop and you it should be prominently displayed if you go to the shop and then, look under the. You got this audio.

Dain Heer: I know that’s sounds. So we’ll find out the link for it, but I can’t remember it. but that’s my gift to you and the world as this is it is this belong to app? Because I want the world I. You know, I’d like to live in a happy world that I don’t have too big a target.

Dain Heer: That’s just. I want to create a happy world, that’s all. No big deal, you know? So. And I and I have a sense of what it can actually take, like what we can, you know, that there are ways of actually creating this. So but that will give you a sense, several different things in several different tools, including the who does this belong to, including another thing we have called the clearing statement.

Dain Heer: And by the way, I don’t think access is the answer for anybody. Okay? I don’t care what you do. I would just love it if you would have the happiness you desire. Okay. So I want to be very clear on that. So back to your question. I apologize again for my ADHD. but one of the things that I would be asking also is who am I being?

Dain Heer: And when did I learn this? Like, how old was I when I learned this and and that I learn this way of being because we as kids don’t come in that way. We learn it primarily from our parents and everybody else around us, especially, you know, in our living situation. And so and I want to also say that none of this is about making anybody else wrong.

Dain Heer: They’re not wrong. You’re not wrong. This is just what we’ve learned to do. So it’s not about blaming them as the source for the problem. You’re the one who chose to do it, no matter how young you were. But one of the questions that can be helpful is who am I being here? Like when you notice yourself, like when I was going into the depression and the suicidal thoughts that I had for years, I wish I had somebody say, who are you being?

Dain Heer: Because I would have been, oh, I’m being my dad. I’m being my mom. I’m being my stepmother. I’m being my grandmother. Holy wow. Because what happens is because what’s true makes you lighter. Just going. And until you get to that pop of what’s true, you’re going down this road believing this is you, which is a fundamental lie. When you buy something that’s not you like, let’s say mom’s depression.

Dain Heer: If you happen to have that, what’ll happen is you and you make it even more intense than the person you bought it from. And now you’re living. And now there’s also a lie and lies. They’re always heavy. What’s true is always light. So now there’s a lie continuously that it’s yours. There’s a lie that you don’t know what to do to change it.

Dain Heer: And so you just get heavier and heavier. Whereas if you go, who does this belong to? Is this mine? And who am I being? You go, whoa! And if you are at all willing to look at. Your childhood. And so one of the questions I ask people is what percentage of who, what, where, when, why, and how you think you are.

Dain Heer: Did you buy from your mother before the age of two, before you can even talk? And when I ask people, is it more than 50? Most people go, yes, I say more than 70. They go, yes, more than 90. Yes, more than 100? Yes. More than a thousand. Yeah. It just keeps going to some number way higher than 100.

Dain Heer: And I, I don’t understand that logically, but when people start to get that awareness they go, oh, and then I say what percentage of who you are or who what, where, when, why and how you are. And also though what is possible for you and what isn’t? Did you buy from your father before the age of two? And we ask him more than 50%, more than 80, more than 90, more than 100.

Dain Heer: And that’s more than 102. I don’t understand it. I just assume that we do it over and over somehow, and I don’t care to understand it. What I’m looking to do in that is to get people to go from, this is so real, and it’s me, and I don’t know how to change it to, oh, there’s a reason I actually chose something.

Dain Heer: And there’s a structure over here, many, perhaps many structures that I instituted as my reality because that’s how we learn to be here. and I it’s an interesting thing also to see parents who bring their kids to access classes, because we let kids come for free to access until they’re 16, from 16 to 18, they get half price, but they need to pay some part of it themselves, even if it’s 20 bucks, just to make sure they actually do choose to be there.

Dain Heer: And when we see people bring their when we see parents who have access tools, these kids are like, I’ve seen different, documentaries on certain, different types of schooling where these kids are brilliant and they’re able to be it. That’s what I see with the kids when their parents have access to these access tools, because their parents don’t try to make them into a version of themselves, their parents stop judging them and instead start asking them questions about what did your choice create.

Dain Heer: But if we can look back to recognize that the fundamental platform for who we’ve created ourselves as, we bought and instituted, because we’re aware energetically it wasn’t just what they said it was. We’re aware of the entire energetic structure of their world and never have been acknowledged for it. And by the time we were two, before we could even talk.

Dain Heer: So all of this, all this stuff that the deep, dark stuff that sticks us about 90% of it is precognitive. And you’re like, wait, I should be able to think myself out of it. Well, you could, if you recognize maybe it’s not cognitive that’s sticking you. It’s precognitive where you built the foundation of reality on Mommy and Daddy’s blocks of structure.

Dain Heer: And now you try to. And when you get to be a teenager, what happens? You want to try to create your own and go beyond that. And then you try to undo it by fighting against them and fighting against every point of view they have. That doesn’t work either, because if you’re fighting against something, it’s only because it what it does, it sticks it in place even more.

Dain Heer: Fighting against never works to create change. Choosing something different always works to create change.

Dean Pohlman: That was a lot.

Dain Heer: That was a lot. There’s a lot. I’m just getting started. We could talk for another 25 hours and I, and I apologize to anybody out there who’s like I you lost me at hello. You know. But if you keep listening just just listen and see what is different in your world after listening to this podcast. Because that’s also the nature of it.

Dain Heer: When somebody is is presenting what’s true. And and I don’t say that that. Yeah, that could sound like I’m being very arrogant. I don’t mean it that way. But anybody who’s presenting what actually is will always make you lighter, even if you don’t get how it applies at the time.

Dean Pohlman: Well, the one thing I think, five words that that were like, oh, wow, that’s a really great way to think about things. What’s true makes you lighter. I guess it’s six words with an apostrophe. So what’s true makes you lighter and what came up for me, the question that I had from that is, how can we start questioning ourselves to distinguish what is true?

Dean Pohlman: So maybe some real life examples for lots of people that happened day to day that they can pause, right? Just have some awareness of the situation and then ask themselves what’s true here? And also how do we know that we’re answering correctly? How do we know when we say that, oh, this is not true, that that is the case?

Dean Pohlman: And how do we say, oh, this is true? How do we know? How do we feel? the right answer in that situation.

Dain Heer: Love that question. And in order to get there, we sort of go from the other direction. And also let’s allow ourselves the freedom to be a little less mechanistic and structured about it in that one of the things that we found is asking a question always opens up another doorway of possibility when it’s an actual question, coming to a conclusion always shuts the door and nails it shut.

Dain Heer: So one way of getting to this is, is this true for me? And so because if we ask what is true, what we’re going to gravitate toward is what we’ve done our whole lives. The judgment and structure system that we’ve used that is creating the lives we currently have. If instead we go, okay, I just had a conversation with this person, I went away heavy.

Dain Heer: You can ask, was what they said true for meaning? Or you can ask, what part of this is a lie for me, spoken or unspoken? Just this one question. We could do an entire podcast on that because like, I’ll give you an example. I was working with, one of my creative teams who were brilliant people, and they use access tools.

Dain Heer: So whenever something is off, we talk about it and we change it, and then it’s not off anymore. Could you just for a moment, imagine if you had that in a business or a family, because there are all kinds of weird sort of. You said this and it made me feel this way, moments where they never can be addressed because the idea is it’s an accusation.

Dain Heer: And once again, people don’t have the tools. So I said something and one of these brilliant ladies, we were on a zoom and she said, can I, can I ask for your help, please? Will you help me, please? And the answer that question is always yes, because I know somebody is going to ask for contribution that will make everything greater for them, but also for the business.

Dain Heer: It’s a win win always. Consciousness is always a win win for everybody. Okay. More consciousness, more awareness. And another definition. We have a definition of consciousness, if you will. Once again, which is where everything exists and nothing is judged, which means this person says can you help me please from no judgment. And also I don’t do judgment. Instead I go to question, I say, yes, and what’s going on?

Dain Heer: Okay, so rather than having to shut any door, I’m asking for more awareness, more information. And she said, well, when you said that, I got a bit heavy and I was talking about us creating something, she said, when you said that, I got a bit heavy, I went, cool. What was it? At what moment did you go from, hey, this is great to.

Dain Heer: And she’s like, I got really heavy. I’m not sure what that was. And I said, at what moment did you do it? And she walked me through the conversation. And at that very moment where it contracted, I went, oh, let me ask you a question. This point of view, that was a contraction, is it even yours? And she went, oh my God, no, I didn’t even think to ask that.

Dain Heer: And by the way, that’s not the only tool. I’m just referring to it since you referred to it. So you can have a real world example of how it works. And, and she said, oh my God, no. And I went, cool. I said, so this creation we’re talking about, is it bigger than you were comfortable with? And she went, that’s an interesting question.

Dain Heer: It’s not bigger than I’m comfortable with. It was definitely bigger than the people I grew up with would be comfortable with. And basically I just reverted to that because here’s this energy, here’s this thing being presented. And I just went to it’s, the, automatic response. I just went into basically automatic response of what my family would do specifically, my mom and I went, oh, cool.

Dain Heer: So can we change that now? And we did this thing we have called a clearing statement, which is amazing, probably too far to go into here, but and we did. And I’m like, how is it now? It’s like, oh my God, I’m on. Let’s go now. And this is, this is why I, I talked at the very beginning from having the tools in the trenches of life to change it, because if you can address, acknowledge those things in the moment and you don’t have to be able to change it in the moment, that’s that’s not necessarily the thing.

Dain Heer: It’s helpful if you can, but if you can just acknowledge, okay, we were walking through this and I got heavy and you can acknowledge at least I know that’s where the lie is and it doesn’t follow you forward into the rest of your life. And so it becomes this thing where you start to get more and more and more present, because you no longer avoid.

Dain Heer: When heaviness comes up, you no longer avoid a difficult interaction with the difficult person. Instead, you’re willing to be there and go, well, if it’s heavy, it’s a light. I may not be able to address it with them, but at least in my own world, I know, so I don’t have to carry this with me any longer. And so to be able to change these things in the moment, could you imagine if every business on the planet and every family could act and I don’t I’m not delusional enough to think that they would want to, but could you just imagine a world in which nobody was wrong for what came up, could acknowledge it, and

Dain Heer: be facilitated to change it? Different world, different business. Which is why our business keeps growing and grew even through Covid. Because we function from this place in our business.

Dean Pohlman: So now I want to go. So now I’m thinking, so what do you do when you realize that something is heavy but it contradicts something that you thought was one of your values or something that you’re very attached to?

Dain Heer: That’s a great question. So first you want to ask, is this actually my values or have I bought these values from someone else? And you can see that what you start to realize is even some of what we think our most fundamentally held points of view about the nature of us and right and wrong, good and bad, are things that we adopted from the people around us and structured into existence so we could maintain harmony.

Dain Heer: And I have to say again, they’re not wrong. You’re not wrong. But so if you have something, that’s where that’s where the fun part of the the work, if you will, comes in. Because when you get when you, when you have that sense of something you thought was a fundamental point of view, every time you go to it, you get heavy.

Dain Heer: It’s like, okay, there’s some lie here. What’s the lie? Spoken or unspoken? And then the first place I would go is, is this actually mine? Is it my fundamental structure of reality? Because here’s the weird part. Is you may have 99% of that is your actual point of view. And if you and I, I know I’m being theoretical.

Dain Heer: So if you have any example, I’m happy to explore that. I just can’t think of one right now.

Dean Pohlman: so I’m thinking of I’m going back to thinking about the I’m going back to thinking about a guy who has bought into traditional values of society. Let’s say he’s got, hey, I’ve got like a good job. I’ve got the family. you know, I’m, I’m in relatively good shape. Like, you know what’s missing here? Why am I not happy yet?

Dean Pohlman: And my thought is, in that situation, if you were to look at the things that you were doing, if you were looking at your job and realizing that you’re sacrificing time with your family and time for yourself because you’re trying to make more money, or you are, I think that’s I think that’s one that I think most men can.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah, can and can relate to. And so that’s kind of the situation that I’m thinking of when I’m, when I’m thinking about this.

Dain Heer: So there’s a couple of things. And in order to actually get there, we’ve got got to go on a bit of a further exploration in that, see if if you never get clear on what you truly desire, it’s going to be difficult to see if what you’re creating right now matches it. And that for me also is one of the things that was really sticking me 24 years ago, because like a lot of us, I was sold the idea, okay, if you go to school and you do well, which I did, and you will get out and do something that will make you happy and make you a lot of money in your life

Dain Heer: will work. That was basically my life education and like it was for a lot of us, right? Yeah. Except I got to a place where nothing in my life was making me happy. And the only, the only point of view I had was, what am I doing wrong? I must just not be able to do this as well as other people.

Dain Heer: So there’s a larger conversation to be had to actually answer the question and and yet one place we could start is write down all the areas of life that you can think of. Or maybe, maybe what might be easier is take these six areas money and business, relationship and sex, body and well, maybe seven areas body, living space and geography.

Dain Heer: Okay, so money and business relationship and sex, body and living space and geography and rate each of those areas just to get a sense of like, how happy am I, 0 to 1010 being over the moon? How happy am I generally with this? And just get a sense of which of those areas you seem like you’re doing pretty well in, in which of those areas you’re not.

Dain Heer: And then you could ask yourself, what has to change here? What would have to change for this to work for me? Now, that’s a very simple question. It’s deceptively simple and deceptively large because and this is where the judgment comes in that I talked about earlier, which is for every decision, judgment or conclusion, we have nothing that matches that can come into our world.

Dain Heer: So here I am. I had the judgment, the decision, the conclusion that if I do this, this, this, this, this, my life will work. It’s really not creating happiness in the way I desire. What would well, if you could allow yourself to do something that you’re going to think is extremely selfish, but will contribute dynamically to you and everybody in your life you’re contributing to, which we don’t want to.

Dain Heer: We don’t believe because for most of us, you know, true gentleman in the world, our desires to contribute to everybody else. We think that’s our purpose. But you can’t you can’t give, you know, if your little power bank is not charged, it cannot give energy to the iPhone that needs it or the phone Android that needs it. Right?

Dain Heer: So if we’re not charged up, what kind of contribution are we going to be to people? We’re going to let our heaviness and our judgment and our our yuck. It’s going to color the contribution and limit it. So if if you would look at the okay, a couple has sorry that know.

Dean Pohlman: I like that point. You know that was a that was a really good point. I was actually going to ask that question earlier, but you answered it because I think a lot of people who don’t I think a lot of people who deny themselves self-care or taking care of themselves don’t do it because they think that it’s being selfish, or they think that it’s they think that, they think that it doesn’t help others.

Dean Pohlman: So they’re like, well, I got to help others. So I can’t take this time to actually take care of myself or be truthful to myself when in reality, what you’re saying, this actually prevents us from being more capable of helping other people. So I’m glad that you made that point. Even if you lost what you were saying before.

Dean Pohlman: That’s okay.

Dain Heer: Cool. Thank you. And so I want to, can I just leap off the cliff and use this clearing statement because. Yeah. and you can go to that clearing statement.com that’s also a free resource so you can understand it. It’s about a 20 minute explanation. But so let’s let’s address this because for me it’s one thing to be interviewed and talk about concepts which are great.

Dain Heer: But it’s like I would like to give you what you need to change this shift, you know, because because once again, unless we’re changing it from where it started, we can do all the mental masturbatory exercises we want. But the fundamental quality of life, the fundamental sense of waking up happy, doesn’t change. The fundamental sense of interacting with people and being like, hey, I feel pretty good about that interaction that was great.

Dain Heer: Doesn’t become more available to us. So if we could use this and I’ll just do it really quick. So all of you who have bought the point of view and all the structures that you have instituted, that it that you have to give everything and receive nothing and everywhere, you also bought that receiving is taking in everything you’re doing to try to save everybody.

Dain Heer: But it feels like you were just slipping more and more into not being able to. Will you let that go now, please? We’ll just assume that answer is a yes. Since I can’t see all your smiling faces out there in podcast land. So everything that is right and wrong, good and bad, button park, all known shorts, boys, potheads, ambiance.

Dain Heer: And I know it sounds like gobbledygook, but if we just look at the pork in the pot in the middle, it’s about going back to the point of creation, of creating that limited point of view, whether it was today, last week, or when you were a little kid or if you believe in past lifetimes, you could assume it goes there too.

Dain Heer: This is using the consciousness of us on our behalf, and you can use this thing to change any fixed point of view you have. Anytime it gets heavy, you could just go everything Dane said. Or I’m willing to change this popcorn pod, which is the short form posse and pod. And I know for some people, you know, I like we said, a lot of people just are have been, you know, last minute hello.

Dain Heer: Which is totally okay, but and and so I’m willing to leap further off the cliff into a place where you’re like, who is this guy? What the heck is he talking about? No problem. But I’d like you to know this is there because if you start instituting it, rather than having difficulties pile up, you’ll undo the difficulty in the moment.

Dain Heer: And what will start to happen is you’ll then undo the past difficulties as you move through your life, and you’ll start to get lighter and lighter and lighter, like we were talking about. So how.

Dean Pohlman: Long does that how long does the clearing statement exercise take to do.

Dain Heer: that half a second.

Dean Pohlman: That okay. I was going to say if you want to do it, if you want to use a real life example, you can do it on me.

Dain Heer: Okay, cool. Let’s well, can I, can I? And I need to go in about ten minutes. sorry.

Dean Pohlman: That’s okay.

Dain Heer: I have an estate planning meeting, so just in case I die, you know, I want all of this to be taken care of. yes. So the two things I was going to say is. And also, before we do this, everything that makes you think you’re selfish, if you even look at something just for you, rather than recognizing that that is the gift that allows you to fill your batteries and change current situations into that which is greater for you and others, will you let that go?

Dain Heer: Please? Right and wrong. Good and bad. Button park all nine shorts, boys, potheads and Beyonce or pork and pot also works. I’m just OCD in addition to ADHD, so I got to do everything. So now here’s what I’d like you to do is I’d like you to ask this question of yourself when you’re alone and are not going to be disturbed for a little bit.

Dain Heer: If I could have anything as my life in these seven areas and any other area you want to add, family would be another good one to add. if I could have anything in my life, what would it be? And what I’d like you to do is I’m going to start you off with just some real simple things, like get a sense, even if you don’t think you can get this sense right now because you’re struggling, get a sense of what it would be like for it to change whatever needs to change.

Dain Heer: Change. Like you have a magic one so that you have total ease with money. So it’s flowing in ways you can’t even imagine. You have so much money you don’t even know where it’s coming from, and you can’t even count it or spend it. Okay? Get the sense of having people in your life that truly have your back that truly like you, not the frenemies most of us suffer with sometimes get the sense of whatever you do for creation and business money.

Dain Heer: Get the sense of you loving to do it. You wake up looking forward to do it and get the sense of it changing enough so you’re not bored. And also if you’re wired like a lot of us get the sense of it contributing to the world and the future you would like to see get the sense of being able to be the contribution to people because you have the energy, get the sense of your body actually feeling good.

Dain Heer: And and rather than waking up and, you know, doing a litany of judgment on your body, it becomes part of this sense of everything is cool and get the sense of having total ease, letting go of your past and your family’s past, and get the sense of having as much is as possible with your family, and the place where even those judgy Mike judges in your family don’t have any effect on you anymore.

Dain Heer: And get the sense also of knowing that you can create the change you desire. Now get that energetically, which is why you say get the sense. And I know it can be annoying when I say get the sense. I mean, you could say get the feeling. Some people are more visual, some people are more feeling. There’s some people who have this thing called Fantasia who don’t see anything, and you walk them through an energetic exercise and all they do is feel wrong.

Dain Heer: So to those people, I want to say, get it in whatever way you get it, you’re not wrong. Okay, so now getting this just got an energy to it. And even if you have a fantasia, that’s an energy, it adds something to it. So now just ask for it, acknowledge it, have it, be there for a moment and just say, hey universe, hey consciousness, please help or God, spirit, Earth, whatever it is that the is for you that you know to be true, just go.

Dain Heer: I’m asking for this now and whatever it takes, I’m willing to be it. I’m willing to do it. And whoever has to come into my life, whatever is to leave my life no problem. Everything that doesn’t allow that we to let that go, please. And puck and pot now, whatever you got as that. And I’m running through it really quickly.

Dain Heer: But whatever you got as that, what I’d like you to do is anything that feels like that energy, do it. Like if you noticed, oh, I had flutter in my heart or I had a tickle, or there’s a sense of space in my head or something. Anything that feels like that, do it. Because that is how asking you shall receive actually works.

Dain Heer: The way asking you shall receive actually works. It’s the only thing that actually really works, whether we know it or not, and not from a religious perspective. Okay, but when we ask, we start transforming into what we would need to be to receive what we’re asking for. Which if you study quantum physics, it basically is exactly that really simplified that you have to be what it is you’re asking for.

Dain Heer: But what we’re doing is we’re looking to go forward and make choices of anything that feels like that, and you will notice if you set a date and go, okay, what’s changed? Since I listen to that weirdo on the podcast 12 months from now, reminder on your phone and just see how much of that has shown up for you.

Dain Heer: I know it sounds weird, but we create in the background. We think we create in the foreground with our mind, but we actually create more of everything that is that exists for us in the background.

Dean Pohlman: Okay, I’m letting all of this synthesize and, I don’t want to, summarize it and create a conclusion because that would be against what you’ve told me to do during this podcast multiple times. but what I am, what I am getting a sense of, is visualizing what you want your life to look like, asking the universe for that being, also saying, I’m willing to let things go that I might be attached to in order to get that and putting that and being able to, in one word, embody what that feels like and putting that into your subconscious so that it stays there and that your brain kind of in the background is working

Dean Pohlman: on that.

Dain Heer: That your brain and your being. And I apologize if anybody is watching and I hopefully will cut me out of this part of the video. I don’t know how the, you know, the to, I’m emailing the person to try to get us some more time.

Dean Pohlman: Oh. I’m gonna. No, that’s okay. I’m going to. You just have to. Can you come back? Oh, I’d love to. Do do a second podcast.

Dain Heer: Oh, absolutely. Be my honor and pleasure.

Dean Pohlman: That would be awesome. Because, because I want to. I want to talk with you more and, and, yeah, I do have five quick questions, though, and they’ll take a short time, so I don’t want you to I don’t want the people who should get your stuff to not get it. what do you think is, first question, what do you think is one habit, belief or mindset that has helped you the most in terms of your overall happiness?

Dain Heer: Wow. I’m going to say again, stepping into the awareness that I’m not wrong. And number two, we are capable of anything. And we includes me. Finally.

Dean Pohlman: all right. What’s one thing you do for your health that you think is overlooked or undervalued by others?

Dain Heer: Oh, I say no.

Dean Pohlman: yes. Well, I’m saying yes to that. what’s the most important activity you regularly do for your overall stress management bars?

Dain Heer: That thing that I had that saved my life 24 years ago? Yeah, that by far that is that everywhere.

Dean Pohlman: Is that like a widespread thing?

Dain Heer: Yeah. Yeah. If you go to. Yeah you can I think it’s bars dot access consciousness.com. We have practitioners and facilitators all around the world and you can learn to do it. It’s a one day class to learn to do it because we wanted to make it as available to people as possible.

Dean Pohlman: Wow. That’s pretty cool. All right. I gotta look that up. what is the most important activity? I already said that question. What’s the most stressful part of your day to day life?

Dain Heer: It’s stupid people.

Dean Pohlman: Stupid people.

Dain Heer: Okay, sounds like a Jesuit, but I. I I, I know it sounds weird, but I don’t have what most people call stress at this point, because once when I notice it, I change it. And so, yeah, if I if I’m going to judge something, it’s going to be stupid people. I just kind of make that up for entertainment.

Dean Pohlman: I what would your actual answer.

Dain Heer: I don’t I, I don’t, I, I literally don’t and and I want to say it would be one thing if I were the only one that has this in my sphere of people that do this access consciousness stuff. But if you ask anybody who’s been doing it a while, they will say it practically doesn’t exist. And, and, and also if there is a thing, it’s, it’s the stress of like, this place is a resort that’s on.

Dain Heer: You know, this side is 110 acres. On the park side, it’s another 1000 acres or hectare is actually. And, building this place has been being able to be across all of the moving elements and parts is if I had something called stress, it would be that. And then also keeping the, the financial end of things, making sure that everything is continuously working.

Dain Heer: If I had stress, that would be that too. But I, I don’t stress about it. I just look for what needs to change so it works better. okay.

Dean Pohlman: What do you think is the biggest challenge facing men in their well-being right now?

Dain Heer: Oh my goodness. Number one, self-judgment. But number two, the underlying idea that men are somehow wrong for being men. I wrote a book called return of the gentleman, and my target with that book was to get men to actually embrace the strengths that we have, and actually like being us again, but not like so much of what is out there.

Dain Heer: I was not excluding women and excluding femininity. I was including women and including femininity. And we have to recognize we live in a world in which, you know, the old philosophical question applies if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, is the man still wrong? You know? And the answer, of course, is yes, but we’re not.

Dain Heer: And there’s a strength to us and a power and a potency to us, that when we get out of self-judgment, we have a different choice. And I need to address this just a moment further, which is that so many of us have so much caring for the women in our lives. And what occurred during the Me to movement really started a man bashing movement along with it.

Dain Heer: That is so inappropriate because those of us listening to this podcast were more angry at what the MeToo assholes did, because it was done in our name, and it was as though this is men. No, this is not men. This is abusive assholes. Okay? And by the way, as a little kid, I was physically, sexually and emotionally abused by women, okay?

Dain Heer: They literally beat my little naked body with a belt. So when people tell me that men are abusive, I’m like, this is not about male and female. It’s not about men. And women. This is about those of us who know something different as possible, stepping up to the plate to invite all the others of us who know something is possible to get out of self-judgment and recognize you were a gift exactly as you are.

Dain Heer: That gift just grows when you get out of the judgment of you. And I thank you for being a man on this planet at this time, and I thank you for listening to this podcast. You’re a friggin gift, and I’m sorry if you have not been told enough lately.

Dean Pohlman: Well, first off, I want to commend you on your courageousness for saying that I think that it’s, I and oddly enough, I, I still subconsciously feel somewhat triggered when someone does something that says, you know, being a man means this. And I’m like, and it’s because I’ve been so conditioned by by whatever, by society, by, by media over the last however many years.

Dean Pohlman: And I think also to a large extent, just growing up, just the, the environment that I grew up in, I was, I was suspicious of men only activities. I was suspicious of of of of masculinity. And I, I am trying to, to, to I don’t know if undue it is the right word, but reframe perhaps trying to understand, trying to understand this in a different light, because I do really like on a subconscious level, I have this deep level of suspicion, of, of male only things, which is kind of, you know, fitting that I then created a, a male targeted yoga brand to, to say that men

Dean Pohlman: are different. We have different bodies. So we do yoga differently.

Dain Heer: Yeah, exactly. Thank you. Lord, I might actually start enjoying yoga. Okay, I’m in, I’m in. You talk to me. I’ll talk to you. Let’s do. This is awesome.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. I know you got to go. So I really appreciate your time. I hope we can talk again. really enjoyed this. I’m going to put all the links for everything that we talked about in, in the show notes. Is there anything else that you want to mentioned?

Dain Heer: yeah. In addition to the waking up, miraculously, I did a program that was 16 days for $15, and it’s roughly an hour a day, and I called it the Real Great Reset. And I would, guys, if you’re looking at exploring this, you know, if any of this has created some, you know, spark in you, please go check that out.

Dain Heer: Realize it’s it is a beyond a deep dive and everything that we’ve talked about and and about a thousand more things. But you cannot help but have something different after this. Like you’ll see what I mean if you do it. And if you do, please let me know that you did it. Please let me know that you came from this podcast, because I would love to give Dean all the credit and all the love, and he deserves.

Dean Pohlman: Awesome. All right. Dang, I hope we talk again very soon. That has been the measure, guys. I hope this inspires you to be a better man. And I’ll see you on the next episode.