7 Poses That Make You Fart

Dean PohlmanBlogs, popular


This blog had to be done, and I’m happy to be the guy who writes it. Everyone has had that “oh shit” moment in that class when they are trying to hold a fart in. Most of us have learned that in order to prevent unwanted posterior expressions that it’s important to be careful about what you eat prior to a yoga class, but every now and then you screw everything up and end up getting Mexican food for lunch. Well, this one is for you, Mr. (or Ms.) Oh-No-I-Ate-Mexican-For-Lunch-And-Now-It’s-About-To-Get-Awkward.

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The best way to deal with farting in class is to pretend it didn’t happen, and hope that nobody heard it. If it is heard, the outcome is more than likely a look of surprise and maybe disgust from the person next to you, giggling or snorts from the people who heard your flatulence a couple spaces away and beyond, and an instructor who is trying to hold his (her) shit together for dear life because all he (she) wants to do is burst out laughing. If that happens, and people start laughing, go ahead and turn bright red, smile, and laugh with everyone else, because you just made class that much more fun. Props to you, fart man (woman).

Here is a list of 7 poses where the risk of farting is greatly increased.

Make sure you are being extra careful in these poses not to overexert yourself, lest you poison the yogasphere with your noxious fumes.

1. Seated forward fold

The dreaded initial movement when you begin to reach for your ankles or toes is sure to make you wrinkle your face in concentration as you try and prevent the inevitable from happening. Well, it’s going to happen, but luckily it’s hard for people to turn their heads in this position, so just keep staring straight ahead and hope nobody heard it.

2. Happy baby

Now we can relive why babies are so happy when they grab their toes and hoist them over head. Pressing your feet into your hands is what really gets the air flowing, though. It’s also hard not to laugh in this pose, so do what you gotta do if you need to let one loose.

3. Knee to chest
(aka Wind relieving pose)

The actual translation of the Sanskrit word, “apanasana”, is pose of negative energy, or pose of downward-moving energy. That’s right – this is THE farting pose.

4. Haka Pose (aka Goddess, Horse)

So much squatting in this pose, it’s hard not to naturally want to fart. Luckily for you, this pose is very intense, and nobody will care if you’re farting or not because they are too busy concentrating on their burning legs.

5. Supine core exercises

supine bicycle, or leg lifts involve so much core that it is hard not to involve the muscles in your stomach that make you fart. Remember that you’re supposed to be looking up at the ceiling or straight forward in these poses, so if somebody looks over at you while you’re here look over at them and tell them to keep their eyes facing forward. After all, you’re just letting out some excess stress.

6. Child’s Pose

Let it rip.

7. Transitions

This isn’t exactly a pose, but I felt it necessary to add this on to the list. Moving from a seated position with your legs out in front of you to a prone position (lying on your chest) almost always gets me. Luckily this is usually muffled by the sound of everybody else transitioning with you.

Sometimes, you just gotta let it RIP

Concerned about farting during a yoga class? Or do you really need to pass some gas?
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