Keep inappropriate thoughts to yourself.
My body is my work; not an invitation.
I have been uploading YouTube videos, creating social media posts, and generally putting myself out there for almost 15 years now – and after nearly 15 years, I’m setting a boundary.
Sexually lewd messages directed toward me are not welcome, are not appropriate, and are not tolerated on any of my platforms, channels, or inboxes.
I understand that one may think that these comments or messages are not harmful; maybe even that leaving a compliment is actually a good thing.
It’s not.
In reality, I am being placed in the uncomfortable position of having to say no to something I should not have been asked to address in the first place. I am being indirectly (or directly) asked to perform actions that I am unwilling to perform. My value as a professional is being reduced to my body image. Not to mention, these types of comments alienate those who are here for health and fitness purposes.
It is not appreciated. It is not appropriate. It is not welcome. If one were to say in person what they typed in the comments, this would be considered sexual harassment. They are not absolved of the inappropriateness of this behavior because they are doing so online.
I understand that these types of comments are a wide-spread practice. But just because others do it does not make it okay. Just because I work in fitness does not mean that I am inviting sexual attention. My body is my work. Without it, there would be no credibility. So my body is what you see. But that does not mean that you are entitled to communication or requests related to my body.
It’s not just that it’s disrespectful. It saps the motivation for my work.
These types of messages drain my energy, destroy the trust that I have in genuine online interactions, and ultimately prevent me from doing the work that many men desperately need; work which I enjoy and find fulfilling, and have dedicated the last 15 years of my life to.
I am not asking you to unsubscribe, or even change the way you think about me. (That may happen on its own, with time.) But I am, as respectfully as I can, asking you to keep inappropriate thoughts to yourself. Please refrain from comments and correspondence with me that objectifies my image, indirectly or implicitly makes sexual requests of me, or invites me to engage with you in a sexual manner. I should not have to say ‘no’ to questions or comments that were inappropriate and should not have been made in the first place.
