How An Identity Shift Can Make Fitness Exciting and Fun | Kevin D. | Better Man Podcast Ep. 128

Dean Pohlman: Hey guys, it’s Dean and welcome to the Better Man Podcast. Today is a member interview. I’ve got Kevin D from Des Moines, Iowa, and we talk about his health. Journey started off at 300 pounds in 2019. Since then, he’s made a lot of different phases of, of improvement along the way. Started with nutrition, went into walking, started going to the gym, then started doing yoga.

Dean Pohlman: Working on A5K now. And he’s also starting free weights. And what I really like about this story is we talk about how having a helpful environment, is so important. How having the right support in place, having the right mentality just makes this a lot easier. And for Kevin, this isn’t a chore for Kevin. This is much more of a mentality of him living out his why and being able to be around for his kids and his grandkids as a grandpa, and also looking at his fitness from this lens of what else can I do?

Dean Pohlman: What am I capable of? Rather than it being a chore or something that he has to do. So I think you’ll get a lot of really great nuggets out of this interview, and I hope inspires you to be a better man. Hey guys, it’s Dean. Welcome back to the Betterment Podcast. Today is a member story. We’re going to be talking with Kevin D of Delmont, Iowa.

Dean Pohlman: Which abbreviation is Iowa. By the way if you were if you were wondering so yeah, Kevin, thank you for being here and sharing your story with us.

Kevin D.: Yeah, absolutely happy to do it.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. So my first question is kind of when was your oh shit moment? When did you realize that you weren’t where you wanted to be with your health and you wanted to make a change?

Kevin D.: Yeah. So I actually have kind of two smaller OSHA moments, my first one being in 2016, I had a cousin passed away of a massive heart attack. He was actually starting to get back into fitness and just left the gym and he was gone. So that was like my first, like, oh, crap. And, the second one was I saw a picture of myself in, 2018 at my daughter’s senior softball awards, senior night.

Kevin D.: And I looked at it and I was like, oh, I am getting bigger. What am I doing? And so I said, I’m going to start something. And around that same time, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Life got in the way. I didn’t really focus on anything yet. And then my dad died in 2019 and I’m like, okay, I’ve got to start.

Kevin D.: I don’t I want to live a healthy life. I want to go forward, be here for my kids or grandkids. Ultimately, my great grandkids will find, my dad was 70 when he passed. Okay. So and he was, you know, he was a fit person. Like, he wasn’t extremely overweight. He was very similar to me where, like, he struggled a lot.

Kevin D.: I remember as a kid, always him trying to work out and be healthy. But I don’t remember the nutrition side of that where I remember him working out all the time, doing stuff in the basement, but we always ate the same food, so I don’t nutrition wasn’t a huge thing for us. We were farmers growing up, so we ate all the not so healthy, full fat, full flavor of everything growing up.

Kevin D.: So that was that was never a presence in our life about eating healthy. We just ate what was there for us and what we I think essentially what we could afford growing up. You know, because my, my grandpa raised farm animals and we ate a lot of beef and pork and we had chicken, so we chicken and we had eggs and full flavor for everything.

Kevin D.: That’s what we did. So I don’t it wasn’t present in our life growing up like it wasn’t a conscious effort. I don’t think on my parent’s part to think about nutrition and what’s healthy, what’s not. So, but yeah, so 2000.

Dean Pohlman: I grew up on a farm.

Kevin D.: Yes. Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Okay. Do you do that? You know, you don’t do that now.

Kevin D.: No. Nope. When I, when my grandpa passed away, my parents kind of ran the farm for a little bit. And then they lease selling out. And then now that both my parents are gone, it’s. My uncle still has the the main farmstead, and he does some farming, but most no other family members farm anymore. Okay.

Kevin D.: So just. Yeah. No. Yeah. You’re good I mean I loved being a farm kid but it not what I wanted to make a career out of God. So that.

Dean Pohlman: Seems hard. Yes. So how did you go about what. What did you do to start making changes? What were some of the first the things you tried.

Kevin D.: So, first thing I did was I just committed to walking. Just moving, and started a little bit of. Okay, what am I eating and why am I eating this? And I realized that a lot of that what I was eating was just what my parents made or what my wife’s family made, and we didn’t really think about.

Kevin D.: Okay, is this nutritious? Is it fueling our body? Is it doing what we want it to? So we kind of started with that. And once I got into it, I was really shocked at how many calories per day I was eating, like I just ate. And I’m like, oh, I’m hungry. I need a snack. And it’s like I was eating probably like 4 or 5000 calories a day without even thinking about it, just just eating so well.

Kevin D.: That was our first kind of step, like, okay, so we took it back and and still, I wouldn’t say we were super cautious about it. I mean, our favorite thing is to go out to eat and celebrate success or celebrate, hey, we had a rough week. So we’re going to go celebrate, head out to eat somewhere. And we still do that, but I think we were more mindful of it going forward of, you know, like just just knowing that you can still eat out, but like, don’t there’s better alternatives to help, not have as many calories.

Kevin D.: So that was kind of our first step of just being cautious of what we ate. And close to that same time to my wife was, diagnosed with diabetes. That too. So it’s kind of a journey together with, okay, she’s like, she had to go on medicine. And she’s like, I don’t want to be on medicine forever.

Kevin D.: I want to make, you know, I want to make healthy lifestyle changes. So that was kind of like a first another. That was her oh shit moment. And so then we’re like, well, we both have these moments, let’s direct it. How do we do it? So exercise wasn’t a huge thing at first. I think we both felt like, let’s get our food under control and figure out, okay, now that we’re comfortable there and we feel, I mean, we felt better immediately when we just weren’t eating so much.

Kevin D.: And I mean, we were hungry, but, you know, we made better choices, like had an apple or had a piece of whatever fruit we had at the time. Just it’s better choices. And I think that directed like that was the path for me to be like, okay, I think I lost like maybe ten, 15 pounds to start right away.

Kevin D.: And then it’s like, Okay. Now what? Because malnutrition is important. We need to you know, we need to exercise. And so we started walking and just being more active just moving and yeah then I was like okay it, it was literally almost like lit a fire under me a little bit like I want to do more like I want to do, what else can I do?

Kevin D.: So I joined a gym.

Dean Pohlman: So tell me, tell me about the time frame. So 10 to 15 pounds. How long did it take for you to lose that much weight?

Kevin D.: I would say that probably came off probably within 60 days. That first 60 days of us. Wow.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah, that’s a lot. That’s a lot for two months.

Kevin D.: Yeah. It came off real quick. I mean, I was almost 300 pounds. So okay. You know everybody everybody says when you’re bigger the the first few pounds always comes off quicker. And absolutely it does. Just because I really felt it was like we were just eating way too much. And you don’t think about it, you just eat. And then when you, you’re like, okay, let’s back it down.

Kevin D.: Let’s try and track our calories. Let’s try and stick to that 2000 calories. Just so it’s not such a huge like drop off to be. We don’t it would like so it wouldn’t fail like we wanted sustainable long term goals. So we just didn’t want it to like we don’t want to crash diet. Yeah, I guess that’s the best way to say it.

Kevin D.: So we yeah started eating that 2000 calories and it just came up same for her. And it was just the that first 1,015 pounds just came off quick. And then I’m like, okay, that was fun because now my clothes are looser. Everything feels better. Like yeah, what next?

Dean Pohlman: So so you saw results from that and then but during that first, you know, a couple of months when you’re, you don’t notice the results yet, you know that. Okay, I want to do this. I know this is going to help. But you don’t see the results yet. So as you were, you know, going back or as you were cutting back on your eating and you notice, like, oh, I really want to eat right now.

Dean Pohlman: Or your wife was like, hey, I really want to eat right now too. Let’s, you know, go back to the snacks. What did you think to yourself for what did you do to prevent yourself from falling into old habits?

Kevin D.: So a lot of the time we’re like, okay, are we truly hungry or are we just bored or are we thirsty? Or you know what? Like a lot of the times, it truly was, you know, it was at night. It was always after supper, like maybe our hour and a half after we ate were like, why are we feeling hungry?

Kevin D.: And it was always because we were winding down at the end of our day, and we were at that point where, like, we could go to bed, but it’s like really early still. And, you know, we were watching TV, watching a show, whatever it may be. And I’m like, I think we’re just bored. Like in the natural thing is, when you’re watching a movie or watching TV, it’s like, oh, we need a snack, we need popcorn, we need chips, we need whatever it may be.

Kevin D.: And so it’s like, okay, like, are we truly so our always rule was, let’s get up, go drink a big glass of water. And oh, guess what, we’re not really hungry after we that had that glass of water. So it was just that little like think about it. Like, don’t just mindlessly put stuff in your mouth like, let’s let’s think about this.

Kevin D.: What what’s going on? Why are we why are we wanting a snack? And sometimes it truly was like my stomach is growling. I’m literally I don’t think we had enough to eat because, you know, we are cutting back. So it’s like, okay, so yeah, let’s have a let’s have a healthy snack, let’s have an apple or let’s have, beef stick or a cheese stick.

Kevin D.: Let’s have something that will be filling that’s not a ton of calories. Yeah. So okay.

Dean Pohlman: Cool. So now you’re thinking, what else can I do? And what did you what did that lead into?

Kevin D.: Yeah. So then I’m like, okay. And truly I felt better. Like I wasn’t as tired. I wasn’t like at the end of the day I wasn’t coming home and just like crashing out. So I’m like, I have more energy. Like, let’s use that to an advantage. So I joined a gym that was a gym that was close to my work, and I just made a conscious effort to at the time that we were commuting, we lived about three miles outside, of Des Moines, and it’s like, okay, we got to have a plan because I, you know, commute to work.

Kevin D.: So it’s about 30 minutes. And so every night I’d pack my gym bag and it was in my car. So it’s like, well, it’s there. I’m going to the gym every day after work when I can. My daughter had just gone off to college, so I had one less kid and activities so I could plan my week around then what my son’s activities were.

Kevin D.: And it just I just made it an effort. And I those first few weeks in the gym are horrific. Like I just, I was thinking about this, the other night when I was walking, running on the treadmill, and it’s like, I remember my first gym experience trying to walk a mile and I was so slow and so out of breath.

Kevin D.: And I’m like, this is miserable. And I couldn’t even hardly walk a mile. And, I mean, I was still probably to 270 ish at that point. And I felt embarrassed because, you know, I have all the people who have been working out forever next to me running, and they’re running their six minute mile on the treadmill. And here I can’t even run a mile.

Kevin D.: And it probably took me like 25 minutes, and I literally felt like I was going to pass out. And I’m like, okay, it’s really time to get serious. Like it was like that was like, I mean, no, it was almost another moment. Like, I can’t even walk without being out of breath. And I’m literally not even walking that fast.

Kevin D.: And so I was like, okay, it’s serious time. So that was that was mid 2019, probably May. And that’s all I did at the gym. I would go I would walk 30 minutes on the treadmill and that was it because that’s all I knew. I didn’t know anything else. So then it just evolved to okay, I want more.

Kevin D.: And so I started doing a lot of research. Google, you know, always is your friend and yeah, it said for weight loss start weightlifting. It’s got to start with lifting weights for fat loss. And I’m like yeah okay. So at the local gym I talked to a trainer. And they just gave me a little circuit on the little weight machines of, hey, here’s some simple weight things you can do to help jumpstart your weight loss.

Kevin D.: So then I did that for probably 3 or 4 months, and I, I really plateaued. Like I probably lost 40 pounds and that was it. Like wow. Then it just it stopped like nothing. Like I couldn’t no matter. That was probably by the end of 2019. So I just I couldn’t I couldn’t lose any more weight. And I got a little frustrated.

Dean Pohlman: But at that point you were down to what, like to 230 something?

Kevin D.: I was probably 240 ish. Yeah. To 235, 240 and I mean, and the other thing that I stopped doing is I stopped weighing myself because I was so focused on that number, on the scale as what success was that? It just and it was up and down all the time. And it really it started affecting my mental health.

Kevin D.: Like I was so focused on that number that it I got discouraged. I got mad at myself, like, and so I’m like, I gotta stop doing that. Because if I keep just focusing on that number, that’s not, I can’t use that as a measurement for success because I, you know, I could walk two miles now on the treadmill before I got really tired.

Kevin D.: So it’s like, okay, this is this is a success. I need to measure, like, what can I do? I can let you know. My weight, the weight machine weight was going up, so I was building muscle. I was doing all the right things, but my weight loss plateaued. So I’m like, okay, what else can I do? So, I mean, we looked at did you could you.

Dean Pohlman: Check your body composition at the time? Did you, or did you know, did you did you know that? Did you realize that? Oh, maybe my weights not going up because I’m got going down because I’m building muscle and.

Kevin D.: You know. Yes.

Dean Pohlman: Actually, that point, they’re like, oh, like the scale is not changing. So I’m not making any progress.

Kevin D.: Right. And I it was a conversation with my wife one time I was like, I, you know, I gone to the gym that whole week and you know, I said, I don’t I don’t think I can lose any more weight. I don’t know what’s wrong. So I’m like, maybe it’s, you know, something medically, like, do I need to go to the doctor?

Kevin D.: Like, is there something going on that I don’t know about? And she’s like, honey, you’re lifting weights, you’re building muscle. I can tell in your arms that your arms are getting bigger. Like your your weight is going up because you get more muscle. And so like it was kind of like, oh yeah, I didn’t even think about it.

Kevin D.: So and that was kind of the point where I’m like, okay, no more scale because I’m, I’m going to judge how I feel, what I can do and how I close fit. And, you know, she’s like, look at your genes. You need to you need smaller genes. You’re they’re baggy. Let’s go. You know, that’s that’s a goal that, you know, go down however many gene sizes.

Kevin D.: You’re, you’re you’re being better. So it was just kind of that thought process changing. Like the number on the scale doesn’t always measure success. So that’s kind of been my philosophy going forward to to not let that number dictate what my fitness is. And so that’s where I.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Kevin D.: And I’ve always, you know, I’ve always stretched and done stuff. But I was I needed something different. You know, I could like my legs. I always have horrible, cramps in my calves, no matter how much stretching or whatever I do. I’ve just always had horrible calves. So I was researching, like, stretching. And then I, of course, Google came up and was like yoga.

Kevin D.: And I’m like, oh, I’m not a thought about yoga. So I found there was a I went on YouTube then and just search yoga and found a couple people that I started watching their videos, and it was I mean, it was comical a little bit because I’m like, okay, I’m not I’m not into the spirituality of it. And I wasn’t like, that’s not what I wanted out of it.

Kevin D.: I wanted it fitness focused. So then I’m like, okay. So then I started doing more yoga searches and it’s like, okay, any classroom is going to be all females. And I’m like, that’s not where I want to go, because I’m not confident enough to walk into a yoga studio to do any sort of stuff. So I, I actually googled yoga for men and I’m like, okay, this is perfect.

Kevin D.: And then, yeah, maybe my yoga just has taken I feel like once I started doing yoga constantly, like it’s allowed me to do more at the gym and just increased my fitness awareness and just it like took me to that next level once I started doing that yoga and then and then honestly, I was, oh, I was all in on it like it it my legs stopped cramping so much when I walked, like I used to wake up with Charley horses in the middle of the night.

Kevin D.: Those have stopped like it just I mean, I think it’s just overall my body is like. And I can tell it too, if I don’t work out, my body’s like, what are you doing? I need, I need something. So even just like a simple walking and like, I just need to move. And so it’s just been a complete transition of from going to nothing too now doing a lot.

Kevin D.: You know, I’m training for A5K right now.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Kevin D.: And it’s in two weeks and I know I just got diagnosed yesterday that I have arthritis in one of my knees. And there’s the docs like, you know, we can do a bunch of testing, but he’s like, I, I can tell that you have less cartilage in that knee and it’s getting arthritic and you need to stop running.

Kevin D.: And he’s like, you need to strengthen all your stuff. You know, your hamstrings, your quads, your glutes to help your knees. And it’s like, yeah, I’ve heard that before. I’ve just never done it. So, after this, after this five K on the 18th, I’m definitely, you know, changing, changing again of what fitness means and what, what goals I have.

Kevin D.: So I’m kind of redirecting some things and. Yeah, but it’s amazing what just getting into the gym and and being around people like you see people at the gym and you’re like, Holy crap, you can lift a lot of weight. Not that I want to do that, but it gives you motivation to be like, if he can do it, I can do it.

Kevin D.: And, it just is a good when you’re around like minded people, then that’s what you, you tend to want to be like.

Dean Pohlman: So yeah. Yeah. You know, something that a lot of people talk about, especially when I, you know, we have a community of people who some of them have been exercising and lifting weights for a really long time, and now they’re doing yoga. And, you know, they’re doing man for yoga because they’ve got this point where, oh, crap, I all this lack of mobility work and core strength is really catching up to me.

Dean Pohlman: And I can’t do what I used to do anymore. But then on the other end, we’ve got people who have been doing most of the yoga as their more main form of exercise. And now as they’re getting older, they’re getting into their 50s, their 60s. They don’t have the same strength that they did when they were younger. And so I’m, you know, I’m trying to encourage these people to.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. Like, you know, bodyweight exercise and yoga. I mean, yoga particularly is only going to get you to a certain level in terms of your strength. And, and, it’s really good for building a foundation of strength and making you more efficient, and better able to build strength and build muscle. But ultimately you have to do strength training on top of that in order to really notice results.

Dean Pohlman: And one of the things that we hear about from, people when I say like, well, why don’t you try? The gym is like, I don’t want to go to a gym. I don’t want to, I don’t want to have to lift weights. I don’t want to. I don’t want other people to judge me. Right. So, you know, I’m just kind of curious about your experience.

Dean Pohlman: Did you did you feel that? You know, you mentioned that the first few weeks was really tough. Did you feel like people were looking at you thinking like, oh, this guy can’t even walk a mile? Or like, what was your. Oh, yeah. What was your gym? Intimidation. You know, experience.

Kevin D.: Yeah. I felt 100% judged, because it and I know it’s, you know, now it’s different. But back then my mindset was, you know, I was walking on a treadmill and I couldn’t walk a mile, and I was sweating and people were looking at me and I was like, this is so freaking embarrassing. And it it it was hard.

Kevin D.: Like I will say, there are a couple days where like my mentality was, I can’t go to the gym today because I just can’t handle people looking at me, barely being able to walk a mile. And there were days I didn’t, I just, I even went and, you know, I remember one time my wife and I were trying to go together and the the parking, it’s a smaller gym.

Kevin D.: So the parking lot was full and we just drove through. There was no parking spots and we literally just left in my home like, no, it’s busy. We don’t, you know, it’s going to be so embarrassing because we’re going to be struggling to walk and we’re like, nope, we’re not doing it. And I will say slowly over time, that decrease because you look around and you’re like, okay, that person over there is just as big as me.

Kevin D.: And they’re struggling just like me, but they’re here and I can I can do it, you know, like, this is why the people are here. They’re here to get healthy. So it was totally a mind change of, there’s people in here that, yeah, they’ve been coming for years and years. They’re big bodybuilders and they, you know, 5% body fat.

Kevin D.: And that’s not what I want to be. But there’s also people just like me that just want to lose weight, just want to try and be as fit as they can be. And it was it was kind of eye opening that it was definitely a mentality change of, yeah, don’t worry about what other people think. When you’re at the gym, you’re there to do your workout and what you need to do, and that’s different from the person next to you.

Kevin D.: You know, they may be somebody who, you know, it’s been bigger and they’re starting their journey out today, and this is their first mile. And don’t judge them because they’re here. They showed up and that’s you know, and that was and I think true that just that mindset of everybody’s battle is different. And that’s part of why. But I’m totally going to circle this into the man flow community.

Kevin D.: That’s why it’s so great to be part of the mental community, because there are people that are just like you that that are runners or that are who have been overweight and who are are trying and they’re showing up and there’s a support there and yeah, so gym intimidation is real, though it still is for me too, because, you know, we’re, I’m starting more.

Kevin D.: I’m doing the coaching challenge. And part of that our group is more weightlifting and stepping into the free weight area away from the machine weights. It’s still very intimidating to me because those guys are intense and I just it. So I did it for the first time two weeks ago. Three weeks ago. And, it it was weird because I got back there and nobody even looked at me and nobody gave a shit what I was doing.

Kevin D.: And it’s like, why does it?

Dean Pohlman: Everyone is too busy looking at the mirror.

Kevin D.: Those lights. Yes. Pump. Yeah. And everybody’s too, too worried about, counting. Josh told me he’s like, yeah, sometimes people are so focused on. Oh, shit, what set am I on? What number is this like? They’re not thinking about what you’re doing, so I. But it’s just my body shape is is different from theirs. They’re obviously a lot more toned and muscle oriented.

Kevin D.: And I mean, that’s kind of what I want, but not really. And just to get over that and be back there, it’s like, yeah, I ain’t one of them. I may not ever be as 5% body fat like you, but you know what? I can lift heavy just like you two. It doesn’t it doesn’t matter. And the has been I’ve never had any instance where anybody’s ever said or done anything to make me feel that way.

Kevin D.: It’s just all in my head. So.

Dean Pohlman: But it’s all on it.

Kevin D.: Yeah, yeah. It just takes that first time doing something and then you’re like, yeah, it’s not as bad as I thought. It’s not as bad as what my mind told me it was going to be. So yeah, I’m excited to to get back there and do the workouts that coach Josh is giving us in our group. And yeah, it’s been really good.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. That’s awesome. So it sounds like the you worked on your gym simulation with I kind of identified three things. So the first is recognizing that as you got to be more aware of your environment and the different people there, you recognize everyone’s there and they all have different battles, but they’re all there to somehow improve themself. The second being the normalization of your own situation by seeing it in others.

Dean Pohlman: I think that’s a really important, that’s a really important tool that, you know, we take advantage of a lot in the for yoga community is saying like, hey, I’ve got this problem. And like ten other guys are like, oh, me too. And five other guys say like, oh yeah, that was me last year. And then, you know, I’m looking at it like, oh, that’s going to be me in ten years or like whatever the problem is, you know?

Dean Pohlman: But like, everyone’s got some sort of, you know, the most people aren’t special. And I don’t say that to say like, you’re not special, you know, just do your thing. I say it because you’re not special. Meaning like you’re not going through anything that nobody has. You’re not going through something that other people haven’t gone through already. Like you’re just you’re just not that special.

Dean Pohlman: It’s like ever the people have gone through the same challenges. The solutions exist, you know? And then everything that I heard is, this fear of just this fear of just you haven’t done it before. So you’re scared of doing it because you don’t you don’t know what it is, and then just doing it, you realize like, oh, okay, that was it.

Dean Pohlman: All right. That’s not that’s not so bad.

Kevin D.: Right? So like the first time I ran my five K, I thought I was going to puke because it’s like, Holy crap. You know, you have all these runners out here with that look like, you know, they run the six minute miles and you’re like, well, that’s not me. But you know what? I’m still going to run. It’s slow pace, but I’m going to finish this and I’m going to I set goals and I met those goals.

Kevin D.: So it’s it’s always just taking that first step. And I know it’s so hard, but it’s the second you do it and you’re over it. It’s like it’s like this huge weight and it’s like, okay, now what can I do? What can I do? More like, what else can what else am I capable of? And and that was totally me.

Kevin D.: Like, you know, getting out of the my comfort zone to go to a retreat and meet other people and just like, hey, this isn’t, you know, my head’s making this ten times worse than it always is. And yeah, it’s been amazing of going down and and calling myself like, somebody who’s into fitness, because that was never the case growing up.

Kevin D.: Like, I wasn’t really wasn’t an athlete. And, you know, I was more of the musical theater kid and just never, never considered myself that. And now it’s like I, you know, people still make fun of me when I say I do yoga. And I’m like, you can make fun of me all you want. It’s super awesome. And you second, you try it, you’re going to realize it.

Kevin D.: But yeah, make fun a way, I don’t care. You can laugh, but it works for me and I love it. So that’s.

Dean Pohlman: That’s the. Yeah. That’s such a common like that’s such a common thing that we hear about in our community as well is the, the identity shift of like I never was never into workouts. I was into theater as a kid, you know. Yeah, I was into theater, too. I and I, I was in all of the music groups I played.

Dean Pohlman: I played with bass guitar, so I was in jazz ensemble, I was in jazz combo, I did acapella groups. I was in like the men’s acapella group as well. I was in show choir. I did a high school musical when I was a senior. Jesus Christ, I think back to that, just like sheer embarrassment of the, you know, the choreographed dance that we had and just like laughing at myself as I went through this.

Dean Pohlman: But yeah, I think that, I’m and I bring all this up because I’m curious about for you, when did you notice that that kind of identity shift happened and you started thinking about, oh, I am someone who is into fitness?

Kevin D.: I will say I don’t. That’s a great question. And I’ll say probably my after I did the Chicago retreat like that, kind of the light switched on and I’m like, okay, I thoroughly enjoyed it, met some great people, and I’m like, this was awesome. And I want to be, you know, I want to be into this. Like, I want to continue down the path of what can I do?

Kevin D.: What can I explore to expand my fitness more? And it shifted from, I mean, I still there’s still things about my body that I don’t like. I mean, I have the typical dad bod and I want to get rid of that. But it’s you know what? There are people who are probably more in shape than I am, but they can’t touch their toes or they can’t, you know, they can hardly bend.

Kevin D.: They when they tie their shoe, they have to sit down because they have no flexibility in their hamstrings, you know. And and I know it’s kind of crazy, but just like when I was putting my socks on this morning, I realized that I almost do a standing figure for when I put my socks on now, just because that’s easiest.

Kevin D.: Like, I balanced and put it on and I’m like, you know, it’s just the measurement of what fitness is is different for everybody. And I feel like that is a shift for me. Like, I stopped comparing and I realized that I am I can do yoga, I can run three miles, might not be fast, but I can still do it and just focus on my individual, what I want for myself.

Kevin D.: And it that’s a huge shift of just yeah, and I think about the like the challenges that we do like I can I love those because it gives me a plan. It makes me want to to get up early and do my yoga and still get in my weightlifting like I make a schedule now of my weekly workouts based upon what family activities we have going on.

Kevin D.: You know, other work related stuff like, okay, this week I can go to the gym on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday. And so then I make a plan based upon how many days I can get to the gym. And that’s just the mindset. Mindset shift of fitness is important, and I’m going to prioritize it, but still make other things to happen in my life.

Kevin D.: So it’s just a big that’s probably, you know, it was probably about a year ago last August, I guess, how many months ago that was, that was when I really started focusing on scheduling my gym time, scheduling my yoga, and just being focused on being a healthier person.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. That’s awesome. As a and as I’m listening, I’m, I’m noticing, like, all these different phases that you’ve gone through and each phase has had its oh wow, this is working. And then it’s like, oh, it’s not, not leading to much anymore. You had like this initial like you lost 15 pounds just because you’re like, wait, am I eating or am I bored?

Dean Pohlman: And then you started walking at the gym and you’re like, okay, this is cool. And then you started lifting weights and you lost 40 pounds, which is crazy. I mean, makes sense, but also like, that’s a lot. And then you know, you know, then you started doing yoga and then you started running, and now you’re starting free weights and, and you’ve said it, you said it.

Dean Pohlman: And then I’ve also heard it a lot, I think verbatim in the other interviews that I’ve done here, but it’s what else am I capable of? Like what else can I do? And so you’re not looking at this. You’re not looking at this like a chore. You’re you’re looking at this from this, like very curious, excited place of oh, could I try doing this now?

Dean Pohlman: Like, this would be fun. Maybe I could, and, yeah, I guess I’m just wondering if there’s anything that you. Is there anything that you think also aided in getting you to that mentality of what else am I capable of? Versus, oh, crap, I have to work out today.

Kevin D.: Yeah. I mean. I think it’s a lot of it is, after the first of the year, I did, the finding my why, and that. So I did it. I did it two different places. When we did those those, calls after the first of the year, I that was one of the comments, the seven wide book.

Kevin D.: And I didn’t read that book, but I do read a lot, and I just kind of turned it on. I want it to be part of my life because I think longevity is important. And we were at I think you said it when I was in Austin, in February, somebody said it, and I’m not 100% sure, but I think it was you.

Kevin D.: They said, make sure your ladder is leaning against the right wall. And I wrote that down.

Dean Pohlman: That’s a great quote.

Kevin D.: So I it and see this this is my problem too. So I read a lot and I read a lot of books. And sometimes I forget who says what or where I’ve read it. And so because I think I remember the quotes, but then not necessarily who says it, but make sure your ladders leaning against the right wall.

Kevin D.: And I read that and maybe I read, I maybe I did read it or heard it and like I had to stop and like, holy crap. And like it made me real. Okay. What what is the what is the right wall? And if I’m going to climb a ladder, I want to make sure that I’m going the right direction, doing the right thing.

Kevin D.: So it was my kind of a little bit of why I’m doing this, and it was because I want to be the grandpa that is on the floor playing with the kids. I want to be helping them ride bikes. I want to to do all that.

Dean Pohlman: I just accidentally, I accidentally made some emojis pop up. So celebration, I.

Kevin D.: Was going say, well, I hey, we can celebrate being a grandpa. No. But yeah. So and even like a great grandpa, I want to be the great grandpa that’s coming to their kids events like I. That’s just what I because grandparents were important to my life and my kids don’t have any grandparents left on either side. We have I have one.

Kevin D.: I have my step mom. She’s still around. She’s still a grandma, which is great, but my parents are gone. And their, their mom’s parents are gone. So it’s like, I remember being. I mean, my grandma, I was in my late 30s when my grandma passed away. Like, she was a very important part of my life. And I want that for my kids.

Kevin D.: I want to be a grandpa. And so like, that was truly my that’s what kind of came out in Austin of I want longevity because I want to be here for my kids and my grandkids. And it just. Yeah. So then it circled back to that. Yeah. Latter comment and it’s like, yeah. So it was a shift of I’m doing this for me, solely me because this is what I want.

Kevin D.: But in turn because I’m doing that, it’s going to help others around me. And, you know, maybe I’ll I’ll provide some motivation to someone in your group or whatever. And that’s just a huge it’s a huge thing for me that doing it is not a chore anymore. It’s just part of my life. And that’s exactly my mindset going forward.

Kevin D.: And it will always be that way. And my wife’s very supportive of that. You know, there’ll be times where I’ll be sitting and she’s like, well, you said you were going to the gym tonight, your truck still sitting now and it’s not in the garage, or are you going or what are you doing? And then it’s like, yeah, I need to go.

Kevin D.: I need to stop. Just drew Doomscrolling on Facebook and all the other social apps and just get my butt to the gym because I said so. Like just the little things, like. And it’s not mean. She’s just like, aren’t you going? And I always and she, she’s not wanting to go to the gym and that’s fine. She’s still lost a lot of weight and his diabetes is under control.

Kevin D.: So she’s had a lot of success too. And but it’s just great to have support like that too. And it’s just yeah, it’s just an overall.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Kevin D.: Great thing that’s happening.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. You got a great accountability partner. That’s awesome. Yeah I mean you have you have so many of the you have so many of the right things in place. So you’ve got, you’ve got your partner is on board with you. She’s also had the oh shit moment. You’ve got you have your view of self-care, as you know, selfish to your needs, but also important to your family needs.

Dean Pohlman: So you’re able to look at your workout is like, hey, I’m helping me, and I’m also helping you. As opposed to, you know, a lot of guys feel guilty about taking time, time away. You also have you also have a few things working in your favor in the sense that your, your first daughter is off to college now, so you have less responsibilities at home, which means you have, you know, more time to be able to more time to be able to do this.

Dean Pohlman: You’re looking you know, it’s not a chore. It’s, it’s, what else can I do? It’s a, you know, so you’ve got you’ve got, like, a lot of really good things, that are, that are working for you. So I’m, I’m excited for you in the sense that you have a lot of you have that going for you.

Dean Pohlman: And, you know, I don’t I don’t I don’t need to tell you that you should be grateful for that. Because you are. I can I can hear it in your voice. I can see it in your face right now. So, Yeah, I guess I’m, Yeah. I’m happy for you. And I’m glad that man for yoga has got to be part of this.

Dean Pohlman: And the community has been able to be part of, you know, part of part of your support. So it’s awesome.

Kevin D.: Yeah. I mean, two of my probably really great friends right now are I’ve met through man flow yoga, I mean, and it’s it’s crazy because I never had a lot of close male friendships before. But the two guys that, you know, we text we text day daily and it’s it’s just been a great community to help learn and grow.

Kevin D.: What fitness means. And it’s yeah, it’s been awesome. So I’m very thankful for everything that you’ve done and the other coaches have done. So it’s been it’s been awesome. Yeah.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. Awesome. Well, let’s do our rapid fire questions. Okay. So I’ve got I’ve got four for you. First one is what is one habit belief or mindset that has helped you with your overall health and wellness?

Kevin D.: I think the the mindset of everybody’s fitness journey is different, and you have to discover what you want out of your fitness journey and don’t compare it to others. So once I stopped comparing what I saw on social media and what I saw people do at the gym and just made it for me, that’s been a huge change of.

Kevin D.: And it’s made me want to go and want to continue, because while I don’t have the perfect body, I still feel like I’m a very fit person and just that whole mindset of find it for yourself.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. That’s great. What is one thing that you do for your health that is overlooked or undervalued by others?

Kevin D.: I do practice a lot of self-care. I get a massage once a month, and I there are days where I will. It’s. I mean, Iowa sucks because we have a lot of gray and drab days, but I will take time and be outside. Go. You know, especially in the summer. I’m outside as much as possible. I’m on a trail.

Kevin D.: I take, you know, sometimes I’ll do a no music trail walk. Other time I’ll have some nice, just gentle music and just remind myself that. How’s the best way to say it? That that fitness is in person, but it’s not necessarily all you and make sure that you’re.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Kevin D.: You’re you’re doing things that that are ultimately going to help you out. So it’s, you know, clear the mind, just be present more. Yeah. It’s kind of a yeah, long answer, but I it’s hard to explain, but I definitely take, take the time to make sure that, I’m not overwhelmed with being so focused on fitness, and I’m, I’m taking care of my mental health as well, so that I’m not.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Kevin D.: So I’m just there for everybody now, right?

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. That makes sense. What’s the most stressful part of your day to day life?

Kevin D.: My job. You know, I do like my job, but that it’s a high stress environment. Certain days, especially towards the end of the month, it just gets crazy. And I, I did the breath series, and I catch myself more often than not taking a step away from my desk when I go for my water bottle or whatever, and just taking a deep breath and remembering that, yeah, it’s work it.

Kevin D.: It’ll be there and I will do my best to get the best results possible. But some days things are out of your hand and you just gotta let it go. Take a deep breath and just dig in.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah. What’s your best piece of advice for men who want to be healthier?

Kevin D.: Small, actionable changes make the biggest difference. Small. Like if you’re wanting to lose weight. Start small. Start eating a little bit healthier. Week by week. Start getting to the gym week by week. Don’t. Don’t make it so focused on the scale. Don’t make it so focused on results. How do you feel or do you feel you’re having success?

Kevin D.: Then you are but just to be long and sustainable about all your fitness and your nutrition. It’s small, actionable steps. So just take those steps day by day. And it’s it’s crazy what happens when you make those small choices that just then they keep going and you’ve all of a sudden now you’re you’ve got results and you feel amazing.

Dean Pohlman: Yeah.

Kevin D.: Awesome. I know it’s I know it seems so simple. Well, that’s what it is.

Dean Pohlman: No it is I mean, that’s the thing. It really is. Like, that’s what the I think it is, it’s it’s simple. I think we want to look for the answer. The answer’s easy doing. It’s harder. You know, we want to say like, oh, that sounds hard. Is there another answer and is there another answer for another? No, it’s just, it’s really it’s a no.

Dean Pohlman: It’s a simple answer. It’s just you just have to do it. Right. But also, like, you have to do it in a way where it feels manageable. It shouldn’t be like this. I mean, okay, if you want me to bang my head into a wall over and over again, I’ll do it. But I won’t like it.

Dean Pohlman: Right. It’s more of this. Okay, well, how do you figure out how to do it? In a way that it doesn’t feel like a chore? Where it feels like, oh, I know I can. This is easy enough. Like, I can manage this. And then you build upon, you know, it’s you’re never taking a huge step at once. You’re always taking little steps along the way to get to, you know, you know, you don’t climb a rope to get to the second level.

Dean Pohlman: You take a flight of stairs or you’re like little steps one at a time, right? And those add up, like you said.

Kevin D.: Yep. So. Exactly.

Dean Pohlman: Well, Kevin, I want to say thank you again for coming on and sharing your story. But I appreciate you being part of the The Mantle yoga community. And as much as you do and contribute there. And yeah, thank you. And I’ll, I hope to see you again soon in person.

Kevin D.: So yeah. Sounds great.

Dean Pohlman: Cool. All right, guys, thanks for listening. I’ll see you on the next episode. I hope this inspires you to be a better man. Thanks, guys who are listening to this interview. If you want to learn more about joining our community and you’re not already part of it, go to Mental yoga.com/join. Sign up for a free seven day trial if you’re already part of the Manson Yoga community.

Dean Pohlman: Guys, I want to say thank you for being here. You guys make this what it is. Truly. And again, I’ve said this before, but when I started creating videos, I had no idea that the community would be such an integral part of what Mantle Yoga is. And I just want to say I’m grateful for you guys, for being here.

Dean Pohlman: If you’re not quite ready to become a member yet, you can learn more about, how man for yoga and how yoga can help you with your life. With your overall fitness, with getting rid of pain, with practical 15 minute lessons. As part of our beginner’s yoga for men challenge. You can sign up for that at Man Flow yoga.com/7 as in the number 7DC.

Dean Pohlman: Again, thank you for being here. If you’re enjoying this podcast, leave a review wherever podcasts are listened to. You can also, listen to or watch video versions of the podcast in the members area or on YouTube on the Betterment podcast YouTube channel. So thank you guys for listening again. I hope this inspires you to be a better man.

Dean Pohlman: I’ll see you on the next episode.

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