Crying.
It’s about as un-masculine as it gets – at least, that’s a belief I picked up sometime as a kid. And it’s something I stuffed down for years and years.
The reasons why this belief is so bad are infinite:
- You’re telling yourself your emotions are wrong (that’s a no-no)
- By holding back one emotion, you hold back ALL of your emotions
- You’re not being yourself when you prevent yourself from crying; leads to disconnection with yourself and with others
And it makes you anxious, angry, and often unexplainably upset when you need to cry but you don’t.
I’m not sure when that happened. When I bought into the idea that it was bad to cry. But I’ve spent so much of the last few years trying to undo this idea.
I notice now that there are actually many moments in my life when I feel like crying, that I used to either avoid or just stuff down when it came up.
- Watching any Pixar movie; literally, ANY one
- Reading sad news
- Hearing sad stories from other people (either from other people directly, or third person)
- Dropping my kids off for school
It’s very interesting, noticing these blocks that I have around crying. I know that my wife would appreciate me crying more, but I still hold myself back from doing it when I’m around her. Not out of choice. But something deeper.
I’ve noticed a deep relief whenever I do cry. I haven’t had the ‘big’ cry yet. I’m waiting on that one. But I get a few tears out, sometimes just one, and the relief is profound. I’ve probably cried more on a monthly basis in the last few years than I have throughout my entire 20s – and that’s a good thing.
It’s not just sad tears. It’s mostly happy tears. And it’s powerful. It’s beautiful.
And if the test of being a man is courage, then it’s courageous AF to do the thing that we as men fear other people seeing the most.
Cry more. Be okay with it. I’m right there with you.
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- Listening To & Obeying Your Inner Voice | Ben Katt – Meditation Teacher, Spiritual Coach & Author | Better Man Podcast Ep. 194
- I’m not perfect – and I’ve never pretended to be.
- How to Find More Connection & Become Less Lonely | Dean Pohlman | Better Man Podcast Ep. 182
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About Dean Pohlman, Founder & CEO of Man Flow Yoga, Author of Yoga Fitness for Men, Expert on Yoga Fitness for Men.
Dean Pohlman is making yoga more accessible to fitness-minded men. A former collegiate lacrosse player, Dean discovered yoga while recovering from injuries and quickly realized its potential to boost strength, mobility, and overall performance.
Since launching Man Flow Yoga in 2013, Dean Pohlman has built a global community that speaks for itself:
- 195,000+ customers
- 42+ million YouTube views
- 200,000+ followers across Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok
Dean’s book Yoga Fitness for Men has sold over 50,000 copies, while his Body by Yoga DVD series has surpassed 120,000 units sold, earning him consistent #1 rankings on Amazon and thousands of five-star reviews. He’s also been featured in Men’s Health, Muscle & Fitness, GQ Magazine, Fox Tampa Bay, The Chicago Sun, and on influential podcasts like The Ready State and Ben Greenfield Fitness.
With a focus on real results, community, and technique-focused instruction, Dean Pohlman continues to change the conversation around yoga. He’s not just teaching poses—he’s helping people build stronger, more capable bodies for life.
